(Advice Needed): HELP! My Daughter Just Revealed That My Husband of 17 Years Has Been Cheating On Me

My husband and I have been married for 17 years, and we have three very beautiful girls. I thought we were happy until December of this past year when my middle daughter started suspecting him of cheating while I was at work. She started following him, tracking him by his phone and watching his every move (I had no idea this was going on).

In January, she found her suspicions were correct. She came to me and said, “Mom, what would you do if you caught daddy cheating?” My response, “Daddy wouldn’t do that to me.” Long story short, she led me to a hotel, which he came out of at 2:00am. I confronted him, and of course he lied.  But he was caught. I started checking cell records as he continued with his little affair.  I fussed, cussed, prayed and forgave.

I moved on, and we were good…until last month. I received a four-page letter in the mail from another women who claimed she had an affair with him for the past 10 years! (which my daughter confirmed the affair had to be as recent as December when she spied him at her apartment). Where was I at during this time? And when did he find the time to have this other life?  So now, I have so much anger built up because of the disrespect, betrayal, lack of trust and the lack of so-called “love” that I thought we had.

I so want to love this man. And I want to stay with him, but I really feel I need to leave this man. I have lost my faith in so many things in my life. The only reason I’m hanging on now is because my girls mean so much to me.  I’m hurting, but I’m a survivor also.  Can you give me any suggestions and/or outlook on this? Is it acceptable to just survive in marriage?

1 COMMENT

  1. My dear, I feel ur pain, it can feel so terrible particularly when u have trusted so totally yet it’s been going on for such a long time. For ur middle daughter to have done this tracking, she must have grown up. My advice: please don’t stop loving him, just pray to God for the grace to forgive him and live a healthy life and for him to turn a new leaf. As for u, concentrate on things that make u happy that are pleasing to God (which naturally includes ur children). I think life is too short to die on trivial matters. To all women out there, let’s teach our children the golden rule “treating people the way we want to be treated” and self control rather than indirectly preaching “men are polygamous by nature”. It all boils down to SELF CONTROL.