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The REAL Reason Your Guy Treats You Like Crap

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You deserve better, but the choice is yours.

I receive hundreds of letters every week. And let’s be real — If you’re already in a great relationship, you aren’t writing in to me. I hear from men and women all over the world, and offer insights and advice about marriage, dating, and communication.

Some of common questions I’m asked are:

“What did he mean when he said ____?”
“Why did she tell me that she ____?”

Often, the answers are highly individualized, and I get into the nitty-gritty details of life, love, and romance with those who write in. I work to decrypt things and shine the proverbial light on the middle-of-the-road truth.

But it saddens me that one of the most-asked questions I receive is — “Why does he treat me like crap?”

Let’s get something out of the way: I’m not describing physically abusive relationships. That’s not only treating someone “badly”, it’s also a felony. If you find yourself in a violent relationship — leave. Period. The End.

The relationships I’m discussing are in a grey-ish area: not physically violent, but rather emotional abuse. Interactions and treatment that are most definitely damaging, but harder to explain why.

These relationships keep you questioning and guessing — Never-A-Dull-Moment style, leaving you muttering to yourself: “It wasn’t always this way, was it?”

No, it wasn’t always … and that’s what is so damaging.

Your guy does treat you right … sometimes. But now that you’re deeper into the relationship and feelings are out in the open, he’s changed. Maybe he isn’t available as often as he once was (without a genuine excuse), or perhaps he is emotionally distant without an explanation, or maybe he starts fights and arguments, withholds affection, has simply stopped being thoughtful, or has just disconnected from you.

It leaves you asking yourself some ugly questions: “What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? What did I do to make him change?”

A reality check: You didn’t make him change. Without a weapon, no one has the power to make someone do anything they don’t want. This leaves one explanation: He is choosing to act this way. And not only is he choosing it … you’re, likewise, allowing and enabling it.

Here’s the harsh truth: People can only treat you in ways you allow.

In essence, you give permission and imbue people with the knowledge of how to treat you. So, if you’re settling for someone’s poor treatment or halfway efforts, you’re silently telling them, “Thank you. This is how I want you to treat me. I’m OK with this. More, please.”

Unfortunately this explanation, while accurate, doesn’t provide all the information needed for a genuine explanation of this pattern. Often, the real culprit is a lack of self-esteem on your part. People find themselves treated in ways they don’t like because:

On occasion, they receive the love they want, and they put up with poor behavior the rest of the time to get a crumb of love at some point in the future
Their self-esteem is so low, they feel (consciously or subconsciously) that this is “all” they deserve

If you put up with bad treatment, that tells your partner that you don’t respect yourself. You show him that you believe you’re only worthy of the unacceptable way he treats you … and each time you go back and forgive him, you reinforce his bad behavior.

Escaping this cycle is challenging, as your sense of self-worth and esteem get locked up in the relationship, creating a constant search for moments of love amidst long bouts of indifference.

If you’ve communicated your needs and he refuses to act or alter his treatment of you, sometimes the only way out of the cycle is, well … out. Move on to someone who treats you like a treasure.

And by “someone”, I don’t mean a new relationship … I mean move on to YOU.

Self-worth and self-esteem emanate from SELF. Start with you. Respect and value you, and everyone around you will have no choice but to follow your lead.

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Travel

Exotic Resorts May Be the Best Bet for a Holiday

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An exotic vacation usually means exploring a distant foreign country, whilst resorts are places
to go for rest, sport, or which offers a particular speciality, with many resorts being part of a
popular tourist destination or on or near a beach. If you are planning a vacation to an exotic
resort it can be a once-in-a-lifetime vacation to a far-flung destination or a luxurious place to
stay closer to home where you can enjoy some pampering.

Why stay at an exotic resort

Exotic resorts often offer all-inclusive vacation deals, along with other options that leave you
to plan your stay more precisely to your own wishes. These resorts offer excellent customer
service, superb accommodation and facilities and are usually to be found in beautiful settings.
Here are some of the best resorts from around the world for you to consider:

Four Seasons Resort, Seychelles
This famous resort has made many feel they have entered Paradise. The gentle ocean breeze
floats up the granite hillside and into your tree-house villa tucked away from the other guests
staying at the resort. This is perfect for encouraging you to relax, either by your private pool
or in the clear blue waters of Petite Anse Bay. Perfect for a romantic stay, there is a Spa for
pampering and the chance for a sunset meal on a deserted beach.

Some enjoy simply sitting on their balcony, gazing at the ocean between reading their book,
sketching or checking out international bookmakers and betting sites for the chance of a
flutter. If you want another type of adrenaline kick, check out the resorts excellent kayaking
and snorkelling facilities, which are recommended by nearly all who try it.

Anantara Resort, Hua Hin, Thailand

The ultimate tropical getaway, the Anantara Resort is an award-winning site modelled on a
traditional Thai village and is just three hours drive south of Bangkok. The location is where
Thai royalty and aristocrats have been holidaying for almost one-hundred years. Today, you
can visit historical attractions alongside theme parks and shops as well as vineyards and golf
courses.

The resort is set among 14 acres of lush tropical grounds with lotus-filled lagoons and
meandering pathways through exotic foliage, with many rooms overlooking the shoreline.
Each day, chefs prepare freshly caught local seafood alongside Thai specialities. The resort
also has an award-winning spa located within a lagoon-inspired oasis offering you the perfect
opportunity to relax.

Kurumba, Maldives

Kurumba is a well-established resort that opened almost 50 years ago and continues to offer
superb hospitality and contemporary facilities. There are seven speciality restaurants offering
cuisine from Italy to the Middle East as well as Thila, a restaurant which extends out over the
water which offers gourmet breakfasts and seafood dinners.

You can go snorkelling over the nearby reef full of colourful marine life or sign up to a dive
package as part of your stay, or just enjoy a private pool when staying at one of the spacious
villages. There are also deluxe beachfront bungalows offering direct beach access and views
of the crystal-clear waters.

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Coronavirus

Healthcare Workers To Receive Coca-Cola-Funded PPEs From Nigerian Red Cross

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Since the outbreak of the Coronavirus disease in Nigeria, our healthcare workers have continued to lead the charge against the disease. As the number of recorded COVID-19 cases in Nigeria began to increase, these healthcare workers rose to the challenge and fought tirelessly to protect the lives of Nigerians impacted by the disease.

Considering the risks these healthcare workers face, there is a crucial need for adequate protective equipment for these brave frontline workers.

Coca-Cola is excited that over 400,000 Personal Protective Equipment (PPEs) procured to support the intervention efforts of the Nigerian Government and other key stakeholders to fight the COVID 19 pandemic have arrived. We do believe that this will to provide succor to our healthcare workers on the frontlines

These PPEs comprise N95 respirators, surgical masks, examination gloves, face shields, medical gowns, no-touch thermometers, disposable aprons, heavy-duty rubber gloves, rubber boots, basic masks, disposable gloves, and hand sanitizers.

Since the first confirmed case of the disease in Nigeria reported in February, over 800 healthcare workers have contracted the disease. While Nigerians are encouraged to stay home where possible and practice social distancing, these healthcare workers are needed across the country in the continued fight against the disease.

This donation forms part of The Coca-Cola Foundation’s COVID-19 relief interventions in Nigeria. The Coca-Cola Foundation has provided $2.5m in grant to IFRC who seeks to directly impact the lives of 1.4 million people in Nigeria and across other countries in West and Central Africa under this partnership.

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Events in Nigeria

Taking Care of Tomorrow’s Leaders Today – The itel, Lagos Food Bank Example

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Waking up to a special meal or choice gift is the best feeling ever. Hundreds of children in Mushin, mainland Lagos, had a filling taste of this feeling for the October 1 st celebrations. It’s an experience they will remember for a long time.

Being one of the most responsible corporate citizens around, celebrating Independence Day was always going to be on the radar for itel Mobile. To make this possible and memorable, the brand got to work in earnest. The focus of the work was picking the best way to commemorate the 60th independence anniversary of the most populous black nation on earth.

The efforts soon paid off through an impact-driven partnership with the Lagos Food Bank Initiative. With the arrangement, both partners considered a couple of activities capable of affecting communities positively and bringing smiles to people’s faces in Lagos. At the end of the exercise, taking care of children, the leaders of tomorrow, in the commercial city secured the highest votes.

With the decision, itel Mobile set about making this happen. Not surprisingly, the decision was
influenced by giving children the means to excel and prepare them for leadership and nation-building, for them to enjoy better life. For the good of their immediate family, community and the Nigerian society.

Idiko, Mushin, a suburb of mainland Lagos, was chosen as the benefiting community. And the partners strategically reached out to the beneficiaries, children and families, with gifts of love, care, happiness and support made possible by the itel Love Always On CSR initiative.

Over 1,000 families benefited from the gesture as well as 600 children, and each one of them received food packages to celebrate Nigeria’s 60 th Independence Day commemoration.

Speaking on the event and itel’s Love Always On CSR Initiative, Oke Umurhohwo, itel’s Marketing Manager said, ‘We wanted to mark this year’s Independence Day celebrations differently, and that is why we did something so momentous for our children. Children are the backbone of any longstanding community, and as such, we are proud to be able to give back and support them on their journey as leaders of tomorrow and for a better life.’

To meet the demands of the memorable event, 30 volunteers joined the customer-centric brand and the Lagos-based NGO to share smiles, and to convey just how important it is to love and take care of today’s children who will ultimately become leaders of tomorrow.

With the thoughtful activity, there are insights for everyone, from the government to citizens, on partnerships that are capable of making life better for children. Indeed, itel Mobile and the Lagos Food Bank Initiative have offered a great template on bringing this to reality.

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