The REAL power position is letting him lean in first! Here’s why …
As a smart woman, you’ve learned to take the initiative in your professional life. You lead teams, faciliates projects, and complete projects on time, discussing strategy and next steps, and managing multiple priorities. Your contributions to your company an intelligent woman are amazing and often lead to promotions of greater responsibility. I hope you feel truly proud of all of these accomplishments.
But, that said, perhaps you’ve noticed that the type of initiative you take in your career doesn’t work so well when it comes to dating and romantic relationships.
Why Initiating Doesn’t Work with a Masculine Man?
That’s because masculine men love strong a woman who also knows when and how to let her feminine side shine.
Taking the initiative is very much like pursuing, which is a “masculine” trait. If you’re the one who is constantly calling and texting him, asking when you’ll see him again, making suggestions to go out with him, etc., you’re the one pursuing.
A masculine man wants to pursue you on his time. Sometimes when you like a man, you might feel the need to rush things. A man needs space to think about you and miss you. If he is really into you, he won’t let much time pass before contacting you. He’ll call and text you in between dates, make plans in advance to spend time with you, talk about the future with you and introduce you to family and friends.
(Note: Here is another form of initiating. Don’t constantly turn down his ideas and suggestions, and push your agenda. This makes him feel like he’s in a power struggle. When this happens too often, a high quality man won’t stick around. He will seek a woman who isn’t as controlling and strong willed.)
So, what should you do instead? To create success in your love life, learn to respond instead of initiating.
Three Reasons Why Responding is Incredibly Empowering
Responding is like taking a wait-and-see approach, which may seem very passive, like you’re doing nothing. However, it’s actually a powerful position in its own rite. Here’s why …
1. You see things more clearly
When you “respond”, you get to pause, observe, and assess what’s really going on. You see both the small details and the big picture more clearly (for what they really are) because you’re not trying to manipulate the situation (i.e. thinking of ways to get him to call you, putting yourself in places where you think he might be so that you can run into him, etc.).
2. You learn a man’s true intentions
You’ll get a quick sense of a man’s intentions by stepping back. Does he initiate? Or is he evasive? If he initiates by continuing to ask you out and you respond with “I’d love to”, you know that he is truly interested in you. But if you initiate, it’s harder to know if he’s really interested in you or if he’s hanging out with you because he doesn’t have anything better going on.
3. You experience the journey to love with more ease
Since responding helps you see things more clearly, dating become more black and white, not grey. Your mind isn’t jumping through hoops trying to figure out what’s going on, whether he’s interested or not, if you sounded too pushy in your message, etc. So, free your mind up and let yourself enjoy the journey of step into love with grace and ease.
Three Healthy Ways to Respond
Now that you have a better understanding of the benefits of responding, here are three great ways to put this approach into practice:
1. Let yourself be wooed
Instead of rushing things by revealing too much of yourself too soon, behaving and acting in ways you think will please him and having premature sex, take the time to get to know each other. Let him take you out. Let him court you. Let him reveal his true intentions. Make sure you trust him and that there is a good mind, body and soul connection.
2. Know what you want
Determine and live by what’s most important to you, what you’re willing to settle and not settle for, and your core values. Whenever he initiates, you then have a choice to make. So, choose wisely. Respond from clarity instead of being misled by an over-thinking mind.
3. Trust the outcome
When you respond, you remain open to what is and what will be. You let go and let the Universe (God or higher power) bring you what you want and the right man for you. Staying open and trusting yourself and the outcome will bring you a greater love than you could have imagined.