Time to look at your own behavior, ladies.
You’re a smart and sexy mama with a solid value system and a one hell of a sense of humor. So why is dating so hard? You could blame the “hanging out” culture or label an entire gender “dogs,” but we both know that’s a cop-out. Since no one is perfect and we could all use a bit of polishing, let’s put it out there and admit that it’s a good thing to look at the behavior that might be holding us back from finding the happy, healthy relationship we all want and deserve.
Here are 10 things you’re doing that’s preventing you from finding a great guy.
1. You make someone who treats you like an option a priority.
Any woman who has ever walked into a Sephora knows that there are many options in the world — perfume, concealers, and yes, men. Getting to know many different people in order to find the right fit is the whole point of dating. There is nothing wrong with being an option as long as you’re still exploring yours. The problem occurs when someone sits on the sidelines while the other plays the field (or worse, games). So before you hand over all of your love/time/energy/sexytime skills/commitment/secrets to one person, make sure you’re on the same page and giving equal value to the relationship. If you’re not, make adjustments or move on. There is no honor in sitting around and waiting for someone to think you’re worth their full attention. Zip. Zero. None.
2. You give third, fourth, and fifth chances to the dissappointing and disrespectful.
Paulo Cohelo once said, “If it happens once, it may never happen again. If it happens twice, it will happen a third time.” Excellent advice in life and dating. Everyone has an off day and makes a screw-up now and then but when the same issue (or a variation of it) keeps popping up, it’s no longer a “mistake”, but valuable insight into someone’s character. Being understanding and forgiving is essential to healthy relationship-building,but it’s a different story when we keep giving the benefit-of-the-doubt to someone who continuously disrespects/hurts/disappoints us. Do the work to know your worth so that you can pick your self-esteem up off of the floor and walk confidently into the direction of the life you deserve to live–with someone who deserves to be in it.
3. You bend your boundaries like you’re in a gymnastic competition.
Flexibility is an important component in any relationship but when you draw a line in the sand regarding something of real value (i.e. your values), moving it around sends a bad message. First, you’re telling the other party that (insert value here) is not really all that important to you. So why should it be important to them? Secondly, you’re showcasing that even you don’t respect your own boundaries enough to hold firm (so why should they?). See where this is going? Put those boundaries in place and honor the hell out of them. Those worth your time will respect you for it. Those who don’t will move aside to make room for the someone you deserve. Win-Win!
4. You expect a man to finance you.
Gold-digging girls may get champagne and Kanye shout-out’s, but there’s a real downside to being on someone’s payroll: they often see you as just another item they purchased (and treat you as such). While it’s nice to spoil and be spoiled by your partner, it’s equally nice to know that you can take care of yourself and show the men you meet that you’re as independent as you are sexy, funny and intelligent. In doing so, you’ll likely find your dating pool opens wide-up. There are a lot of great men out there with a lot to offer beyond black cards (and the ones with the cards will likely have more respect for you). Besides, putting down your own credit card like a #boss with a confident “I got this” feels damn good.
5. You play it so “cool” that your relationship turns cold.
In the beginning, it’s normal to relax and see where things go but if you’re catching feelings and not sure where you stand five months in, the ambiguity is going get to you (and likely lead to behavior that’s going to get to him). While demanding or agreeing to exclusivity on the second date is a little much (don’t), it’s perfectly normal to ask how the other person feels about things to gauge whether or not you’re on the same page — especially if you’re doing the no-pants dance. It’s “cool” to be honest about who you are and what you want and to accept the other person’s right to feel what they feel and make a decision that works for the two of you. No blame or drama necessary.
6. You see him as a fixer-upper.
Whether it’s trying to reform a dedicated playboy or guide a Peter Pan through adulthood, there’s nothing more exhausting than trying to build a better human. So why do so many of us do it? Live and let live, and don’t waste precious moments of your life attempting to polish someone up enough to properly fit into yours. Not only will this lead to loads of resentment on both sides, you can seriously damage another party making them feel they are not appreciated for who they really are.
7. You hide important parts of yourself.
The best way to attract someone who is right for us is to get to know who you really are and live as the best version of that self without the slightest apology. Know that you’re enough as you are and the right person will accept and appreciate you, flaws and all.
8. You’re a negative nancy.
Research has shown that negativity leads to narrow thinking whereas positive thinking helps us to see all of our options and create new ones through encouraged skill-building. Walking around thinking that you will “never find” someone or that “all” men are any one thing will not only make you feel horrible, but it will also train your brain to prove this theory true! How does this relate to d-bag dating? When you think “all men are dogs” you put up with bad behavior because you don’t believe anything better is out there (which is not true. Think about if men thought all women were golddiggers/cheats or whatever else).
9. You’re not be clear about what you want.
It sounds obvious, but if you want children and marriage in the next few years, you might want to stop spending your Friday nights with the hot, emotionally unavailable guy who tells you that he doesn’t want kids. These traits do not make him a bastard, but you’ll likely be dealing with behavior that’s going to frustrate the hell out of you (see Fixer-Upper). It’s not that you shouldn’t go out and have a good time, but spending your time in pseudo-romantic relationships with men you can’t see a future with will only distract you from being proactive about diving into the pool you should be swimming in.
So who should you be out with? If you don’t know beyond height, hair and eye-color, you’re in trouble. Dating becomes daunting when you want a relationship but have no idea who with. So, before you upload your profile, sit down and really think about your values, non-negotiables and the things it would “be nice” for them to have. Then, stay close to home as they say.
10. You expect the guy to bring it all to the table.
Remember: like attracts like. Want a gentlemen? Be a lady. Want intelligent? Knowledge is power. Want someone who respects you? Be respectful and respectable. Want someone who is confident, knows what he wants, has his Sh#@ together and is open to a relationship? Be that kind of gal.
Avoid These Nigerians Food To Burn Stubborn Belly Fat (Video)
Being overweight or obese can be detrimental to your health. It is not advisable to have excess fat in the abdominal cavity because it can lead to some health issues. Getting your dream body will not be easy and you need to make some sacrifices to your diet. You will also need to turn a blind eye to some fatty foods.
If you’re ready to get rid of the belly fat, then stay put as Information Nigeria brings you some important tips that will help.
1. Avoid sugar and carbonated drinks
Did you know that consuming sugary substances like coke, fanta can lead to weight gain and a number of health problems like high blood pressure?. This is due to the high fructose content found in added sugars. Taking sugar-filled drinks may slow your metabolism and this in turn can make it harder for your body to burn fat. Fructose can only be metabolized by your liver. When you consume too much, you push your liver to its limit and it becomes overloaded, then it turns the fructose into fat and it ends up getting stored in your belly. To avoid putting yourself from risk, you should cut back on foods and drinks that contain huge amounts of sugar.
2. You also have to forgo junk foods like meat pie, cakes, rolls, candies, burgers, ice cream and cookies. You also need to do away with heavy foods like eba, akpu, pounded yam, rice among others. Switch up your eating habits and opt for a more balanced-diet if you want to burn your belly fat. Avoid consuming refined carbs like bread, pizza, potation chips etc. You should also stay away from processed and heavy foods because they contribute to stubborn belly fat. You should choose to eat proteinous foods like fish, eggs, and milk. starch contains fat, sugar and salt. They help a person feel fuller so you don’t end up looking for something to munch on after eating. It basically keeps hunger at bay.
3. Eat the right amount of fruits, vegetables, fibrous foods and whole grains – You can add vegetables, fruits and whole grains to your weight loss diet. They provide essential vitamins, minerals, fiber and other substances that are good for your body. Examples of fibre rich foods include; beans, broccoli, avocados, apples, oatmeal brown rice and whole grain bread.
4. Try to incorporate exercise into your daily or weekly routine – Exercise helps to speed up your metabolism and helps you shed weight. The bitter truth is that wearing just waist trainers and staying put in one position will not make you lose that stubborn belly fat. You should hit the gym.
5 Reduce alcohol intake – Excess intake of alcohol also leads to a host of health problems especially the build-up of fat in the belly area. Have you ever noticed that those who drink alcohol, especially men, often develop ‘pot-bellies’. Alcoholic drinks like beer provide your body with calories and very little nutrients. It can also increase your appetite. Replace the alcoholic drinks with water or alternate with low calorie, non-alcoholic beverages. Too much alcohol can cause liver damage and other serious health problems.
6. Try out apple cider vinegar – Apple cider vinegar is made in a two-step fermentation process. It is obtained from apples that have been crushed, distilled and fermented. Acetic acid is the main active component of apple cider vinegar. It is safe for consumption in small quantities and can be taken as a supplement. Do not also consume it straight from the bottle or in its pure form. Add 1 to 2 tablespoons to water before you drink. You can also add honey or lemon. It is best to drink it before your meals. Research shows it has many health benefits, such as lowering blood sugar levels.
Williams Uchemba And His Wife Exchange Wedding Vows In Lagos (Video)
Popular Nigerian actor, Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar have officially solemnized their union.
The couple finally exchanged their wedding vows at Dominion city church in Lagos state.
The beautiful wedding ceremony was reportedly officiated by the founder of the church, Dr. David Chukwudi Ogbueli alias Papa Eagle.
Celebrities, fans and well-wishers poured in congratulatory message for the couple after photos and videos from the ceremony hit the internet.
The actor wore a sleek tuxedo, while his bride, wore a lovely white gown.
Watch the videos below:
— Ngozi Clara (@ngoziclara) November 21, 2020
Actor, Model, Comedian, Philanthropist… Meet The Latest Groom, Williams Uchemba
Williams Uchemba, who was born on October 22, is an actor, motivational speaker, model, comedian, entrepreneur and philanthropist. The Abia-born thespian graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in International Relation from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka in Enugu State.
Uchemba began his career in the early 2000s as a child actor and came into the limelight in 2001 after appearing in the Nollywood blockbuster movie, “The Journey of the Dead” along with Olu Jacobs, Ramsey Noah, and Pete Edochie.
Since then, the multi-talented actor never looked back as he has gone ahead to feature in more blockbuster movies like Sugar Rush (2019), Merry Men 2(2019) and Story Story: The African Rideshare (2018). He is the recipient of several awards.
The actor adopted an 18-year-old furniture maker in June and he promised to sponsor his education. He recently got married to his longtime girlfriend, Brunella Oscar at her hometown, Alor in Anambra state. The actor’s wife, Brunella opened up on their love story with Wedding Digest Naija and she disclosed that she made the first move. According to the English trained medical doctor, they both met on Facebook after she sent him a message.
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