The idea of rose-colored glasses is no joke when it comes to dating and premarital couples. People who are in love perceive their loved ones differently than others.
People who are in love are literally addicted to their loved one. Neurologists have put people in an fMRI machine (a machine that takes pictures of brain activity) who claim they are in love. Researchers then ask the participants to think about their loved one, and the machine takes a picture. When the picture is taken, an interesting pattern emerges. Dopamine levels rise and activity in the frontal cortex goes down. You can read more about this here.
What does that mean?
Dopamine is a reward neurotransmitter, meaning it gives your brain a high five when you do a certain behavior. The message dopamine gives your brain is, “That was good, do more of that!” And so you do. The second part of the pattern is decreased activity in the frontal cortex, which is the part of your brain responsible for critical decision making. So think about it: You spend time with your loved one and your brain rewards you with dopamine, while at the same time minimizing any warning flags. It’s like your brain put on rose-colored glasses and you only see what you want to see.
Infatuation is a dangerous drug. Researchers have compared the brain patterns of those in love to Cocaine and gambling addicts, and found them to be almost identical. So what does this mean for someone wanting to take his or her dating relationship to the next level? Or for the premarital couple preparing for marriage?
You must accept and recognize that when you are in love, you are most vulnerable to believing delusions about your partner.
In a study conducted by Gingrich in 2003, Gingrich pointed out that couples actively engage in delusional perceptions of their partner and of their own ability to work through problems for several reasons:
They unconsciously project their idealized mate onto their partner
Resisting self-disclosure, which may emphasize dissimilarities between partners and overemphasizing similarities
The desire to seek out a mate that will heal all the wounds incurred in one’s family-of-origin.
Dealing with the added disillusionment from the “romantic high,” some myths partners actively maintain include:
“We expect exactly the same things from marriage.”
“Everything good in our relationship will get better.”
“Everything bad in my life will disappear.”
“My spouse will make me whole.”
Believing these myths can hurt your relationship in the long run.
Needless to say, couples develop unrealistic images of marriage and their partner, which usually persist through marriage. Unfortunately, delusions contribute to unfulfilled expectations within the marriage relationship, causing much pain and conflict.
Here are a few suggestions for overcoming the power of delusions:
Seek premarital counseling
Having a third set of eyes on an issue can really help. Premarital counselors are trained to help couples through issues like these. A good premarital counselor can help create solutions to a potential problem, give advice and offer understanding.
Explain to your partner what you are wanting from the relationship, what you are wanting from him or her, and where you would like the relationship to go. That means talking about things like where you would like to live, how many kids you want and any jobs or schooling you want to pursue.
This is an important one. Be honest about who you are! Dating and premarital couples are always trying to present their “best self.” Then when they get married, the other self comes out. A true and lasting relationship is one based on total acceptance.
Red flags and deal breakers
Be prepared to look for and discover red flags about your partner. Just because you love your partner and you are dating or getting married doesn’t mean he or she is the right person for you. The rose-colored glasses might be disguising a major problem. That problem may in fact be a deal breaker. Ask yourself, “Is this something I am willing to live with for the rest of my life?”
Take the rose-colored glasses off. This is not easy to do, and can feel like an uphill battle because you’re fighting against your own brain’s addiction to love. But a real and authentic relationship, based on who people actually are, is more realistic, and I would argue, more fulfilling. Delusions, on the other hand, are fueled by fantasies. Fantasies are not based in reality and they always disappoint. Move past the fantasy and into a real, genuine relationship by doing the hard, yet rewarding work of authentically being yourself and accepting the real (non-fantasy) version of your partner.
Avoid These Nigerians Food To Burn Stubborn Belly Fat (Video)
Being overweight or obese can be detrimental to your health. It is not advisable to have excess fat in the abdominal cavity because it can lead to some health issues. Getting your dream body will not be easy and you need to make some sacrifices to your diet. You will also need to turn a blind eye to some fatty foods.
If you’re ready to get rid of the belly fat, then stay put as Information Nigeria brings you some important tips that will help.
1. Avoid sugar and carbonated drinks
Did you know that consuming sugary substances like coke, fanta can lead to weight gain and a number of health problems like high blood pressure?. This is due to the high fructose content found in added sugars. Taking sugar-filled drinks may slow your metabolism and this in turn can make it harder for your body to burn fat. Fructose can only be metabolized by your liver. When you consume too much, you push your liver to its limit and it becomes overloaded, then it turns the fructose into fat and it ends up getting stored in your belly. To avoid putting yourself from risk, you should cut back on foods and drinks that contain huge amounts of sugar.
2. You also have to forgo junk foods like meat pie, cakes, rolls, candies, burgers, ice cream and cookies. You also need to do away with heavy foods like eba, akpu, pounded yam, rice among others. Switch up your eating habits and opt for a more balanced-diet if you want to burn your belly fat. Avoid consuming refined carbs like bread, pizza, potation chips etc. You should also stay away from processed and heavy foods because they contribute to stubborn belly fat. You should choose to eat proteinous foods like fish, eggs, and milk. starch contains fat, sugar and salt. They help a person feel fuller so you don’t end up looking for something to munch on after eating. It basically keeps hunger at bay.
3. Eat the right amount of fruits, vegetables, fibrous foods and whole grains – You can add vegetables, fruits and whole grains to your weight loss diet. They provide essential vitamins, minerals, fiber and other substances that are good for your body. Examples of fibre rich foods include; beans, broccoli, avocados, apples, oatmeal brown rice and whole grain bread.
4. Try to incorporate exercise into your daily or weekly routine – Exercise helps to speed up your metabolism and helps you shed weight. The bitter truth is that wearing just waist trainers and staying put in one position will not make you lose that stubborn belly fat. You should hit the gym.
5 Reduce alcohol intake – Excess intake of alcohol also leads to a host of health problems especially the build-up of fat in the belly area. Have you ever noticed that those who drink alcohol, especially men, often develop ‘pot-bellies’. Alcoholic drinks like beer provide your body with calories and very little nutrients. It can also increase your appetite. Replace the alcoholic drinks with water or alternate with low calorie, non-alcoholic beverages. Too much alcohol can cause liver damage and other serious health problems.
6. Try out apple cider vinegar – Apple cider vinegar is made in a two-step fermentation process. It is obtained from apples that have been crushed, distilled and fermented. Acetic acid is the main active component of apple cider vinegar. It is safe for consumption in small quantities and can be taken as a supplement. Do not also consume it straight from the bottle or in its pure form. Add 1 to 2 tablespoons to water before you drink. You can also add honey or lemon. It is best to drink it before your meals. Research shows it has many health benefits, such as lowering blood sugar levels.
Williams Uchemba And His Wife Exchange Wedding Vows In Lagos (Video)
Popular Nigerian actor, Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar have officially solemnized their union.
The couple finally exchanged their wedding vows at Dominion city church in Lagos state.
The beautiful wedding ceremony was reportedly officiated by the founder of the church, Dr. David Chukwudi Ogbueli alias Papa Eagle.
Celebrities, fans and well-wishers poured in congratulatory message for the couple after photos and videos from the ceremony hit the internet.
The actor wore a sleek tuxedo, while his bride, wore a lovely white gown.
Watch the videos below:
— Ngozi Clara (@ngoziclara) November 21, 2020
Actor, Model, Comedian, Philanthropist… Meet The Latest Groom, Williams Uchemba
Williams Uchemba, who was born on October 22, is an actor, motivational speaker, model, comedian, entrepreneur and philanthropist. The Abia-born thespian graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in International Relation from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka in Enugu State.
Uchemba began his career in the early 2000s as a child actor and came into the limelight in 2001 after appearing in the Nollywood blockbuster movie, “The Journey of the Dead” along with Olu Jacobs, Ramsey Noah, and Pete Edochie.
Since then, the multi-talented actor never looked back as he has gone ahead to feature in more blockbuster movies like Sugar Rush (2019), Merry Men 2(2019) and Story Story: The African Rideshare (2018). He is the recipient of several awards.
The actor adopted an 18-year-old furniture maker in June and he promised to sponsor his education. He recently got married to his longtime girlfriend, Brunella Oscar at her hometown, Alor in Anambra state. The actor’s wife, Brunella opened up on their love story with Wedding Digest Naija and she disclosed that she made the first move. According to the English trained medical doctor, they both met on Facebook after she sent him a message.
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