Dating is tough. Dating a single mom is even tougher.
If you’ve been in the dating scene for any significant length of time, you likely feel you’ve got it handled. You know how to flirt, how to ask someone out, how to be charming, interesting, and an altogether enjoyable date. But what if you chat someone up only to discover she’s not only single, but a mom? Dating is one thing, but dating a single mom requires a new skill set. True, she’s a woman and wants to be seen as that but she’s also a mother and she needs to be seen as that, too. Here are ten things you should know if you want to date a single mom and not suck at it:
1. Her Free Time Is Precious, And You’re Probably Not Getting All of It
If the single lady you are interested in is also a single mom, chances are her free time is limited. Oh, we know, you are busy, too. These are busy times. But solo parents are in a different realm of busy. Between single-handedly managing parenting, a career, and running a household, there’s often not much room for leisure. So when she finds herself without children for a few hours or even a few days, don’t blame her if she has a list of things to do and they don’t all include you — even if that list consists of binge-watching TV and sleeping in.
Yes, you need time together and yes, you should make her list of priorities, but don’t expect to be the list, and don’t whine if she wants to see friends or recharge alone. Upside: You’ll have plenty of time to maintain your own friendships and hobbies, instead of becoming one of those obnoxious enmeshed couples who have forgotten they are not, in fact, surgically attached.
2. Her Kids Are the Priority
Want to know the fastest way to end your relationship with a single mom? Try to outrank her kids. Not only were they in her life first, but she’s the reason they exist at all. She sort of made them. They’re not an inconvenience and they are definitely not your competition. They are her children. Her flesh. Don’t just understand that they come first, embrace it. Would you really want a woman who let some new person — even one as rad as you — take precedence over her kids? No. No, you would not.
3. Her Ex May Very Well Be Around
Situations differ but generally speaking, if your once-partnered lady has kids, those kids likely have another parent that’s still in the picture in some capacity. This can be challenging in the best, most-amicable of situations, thanks to our very human natures and pesky evolutionary flaws like jealousy. It’s okay, though. You can do this. Your lover had a life before you and at some point, that included a partner with whom she had a kid or five.
She loved, she created a family, and at some point, she let go. It’s something to be admired, even if it didn’t end up the way anyone had planned. Move past awkward and move into acceptance. It’s part of the path that brought her here. To you. Sometimes that can be hard to do, but you can do it — even if her ex is a special brand of asshat — which brings us to our next point …
4. Her Ex is Her Problem, Not Yours
In the event you have found yourself really digging someone whose ex really makes you want to go WWE on his or her ass, we have a bit of advice for you: Don’t. It’s admirable that you feel protective of your partner and it’s natural to have ill feelings toward someone who is hurting your partner in some way, but the best possible thing you can do in this situation is to let her handle it and support her as she does. Do not get personally involved.
No passive-aggressive Facebook posts, no antagonizing texts, no standoffs at the PTA fundraiser. Just. Don’t. And don’t complain to your partner about her ex. A million dollars says she already knows, she already feels sh*tty about it, and she doesn’t need to hear it from you. Stroke her hair when she cries. Take her kickboxing when she’s infuriated. Find a way to make her laugh. But don’t make her ex your problem.
5. She Doesn’t Need You to Rescue Her
You like this woman because she is capable and determined and basically an all-around life-conquering badass, right? Of course. So do her a favor and let her be that. If she is running up against challenges, offer her love and support and encouragement in whatever form speaks to her. That’s sweet. That’s helpful. You know what’s not? Taking over and trying to fix everything for her.
She’s a grown woman who has managed to do a good job of kicking ass without you swooping in on your medieval white horse thus far, so let her keep doing that. Swooping in is condescending. It tells her you think she can’t rescue herself. That’s bullshit. If she asks for help, give it. Otherwise, let her do her thing while you sit back and marvel.
6. The Truth About Meeting the Kids
When you are involved with a single mom, meeting the kids is a very big deal. Or maybe it isn’t. The thing is, every single mama has her own approach to this and her own ideas about what it means. For some, including the kids is no big deal. Some mamas want to see how everyone gets along or how you treat her kids before anyone gets too invested.
Some mamas can’t afford to shell out for a babysitter or don’t like always leaving the kids behind so if you want to see her more often, you’ll be getting to know her kids, too. Other mamas like to leave their kids out of their romantic lives entirely. Some like to wait until they have some confidence this isn’t a flash-in-the-pan fling. The only way you will know is to ask. While you’re at it, let her know your feelings on all of it, too, because, you know, communication.
7. She Might Be a Little Flaky
While it’s true that flakiness is something that’s really only desirable in pastries, you should probably expect a little of it from your new woman — not because she wants to be a flake, but because juggling all the things can be really, really difficult, and sometimes she might drop an orb or two. (Balls joke avoided.) The sitter may bail on her, her kid may come down with the flu, she may just need to lay down for a while because trying to be Wonder Woman when you don’t actually have superpowers is really fucking exhausting. Cut her some slack. No guilt, no pressure. And if you really want to win her over, have Thai food delivered.
8. It’s Complicated
Choosing to get involved with a single mom will in many ways not be as simple as dating someone whose life is less encumbered. She probably can’t drop everything and hop on a plane to Ibiza with you, and her schedule is probably measurably more complex than that of someone who is flying solo. Her life is full of responsibility and commitments and little people who need her. But that doesn’t have to be negative. She is responsible. She has made commitments. She is nurturing. Her schedule may require her to plan ahead, but really, whose doesn’t?
9. It’s Not Her Fault
Society has created a bad ass stigma around women who stick it out, stay committed, and work like hell to raise their kids alone. Celebrate her gumption. Don’t begrudge it. See her not for a broken soldier, but as the powerful (albeit tired and probably overworked) warrior she is.
10. You Are Lucky to Be Here
No, really. You are. This complicated, sometimes-messy, often-unpredictable life of the badass warrior mother you are into? It’s also gorgeous and fulfilling and soul-expanding and generally incredible. If she wants you to be a part of it, it’s an honor. Revel in it.
‘I Tested Positive To HIV After Gang Raped By 3 Men – Chef Ayomide
Nigerian chef, Ayomide Idowu, who is also a male rape survivor, has taken to his Instagram page to tell his story.
The openly gay young man recalled how he was allegedly gang raped by 3 hoodlums at the age of 19 because of his sexuality and how he eventually contracted HIV.
Ayomide revealed his life never remained the same as he was also arrested and victimized by the police.
In his words;
“I could remember last 5years ago
What I pass through from 3 hoodlums
I was thoroughly beaten and gang-raped
All because I’m Gay…they took advantage of me
I was 19years old boy then, I suffered humiliation
Arbitrary arrest from police,inhuman degrading treatment,I lost my precious Home at the age of 19years..no parents no family…it really hurts to be an orphan….after I lost my virginity from the raped….having unprotected sex from those hoodlums I WAS TESTED POSITIVE….being positive my mood changed…I started my medication and think less…I stay away from smoking and alcohol…I eat Good fruits and vegetables…thanks to God I’m a testifier now
I’m undetectable my CD4 850 viral load 10
It really worth testimony 🙏🤦im looking healthy and stunning…being HIV positive is not the end of life…it reveals the other side of you…my aims of sharing my life threatening story as an orphan,so that people can learn from this…. 5years living positively”
See his post below:
Relaxation Of CBD In NFL – An Insight
There has been a lot of buzz around CBD in recent years, especially in the health and wellness industry.
Many sports associations and players around the world have also recognized CBD as a pro sports
However, one of the most coveted associations- the National Football League, more popularly known as
the NBD had been quite strict in its ban of cannabis related products, including CBD. But in recent times,
there seems to be some good news in store both for eh players and every CBD shop as the association is
considering lifting the blanket ban and allowing players to use CBD, which has become popular for its
What Is CBD?
Before we proceed to understand the decision of the NFL, it is important to understand what CBD is and
how it is different from the other cannabis product. CBD or cannabidiol is one of the primary chemicals
found in the cannabis plant, the other being THC. However, contrary to common beliefs, CBD is not
psychoactive in nature. It does not cause the user to feel ‘high.’ This is because high quality CBD does
not contain even trace amounts of THC, which is responsible for these reactions.
In fact, many recent studies indicate that CBD is an excellent medicine to cure several physical and
mental conditions, including chronic pain, anxiety, inflammation, and depression.
Why Do Sportspersons Recommend CBD Use?
If you are into sports and athletics, avoiding injuries is almost impossible. While painkillers may be
helpful in managing the pain, they have numerous side effects on the other organs of the body. That is
why many players and athletes are now in favor of using CBD to manage their pains and injuries.
Sourced from organically grown hemp, CBD helps in alleviating the pain without injuring any other
organs of the body. It is no wonder that players are in favor of using CBD in place of the synthetic drugs
that are available in the market.
CBD For Sleep
For your body to perform its best, it is important for it to be well-rested and rejuvenated. This can only
happen through sound sleep. For many players, who suffer from muscle cramps and injuries, getting
proper sleep becomes a challenge. CBD can be very helpful in those circumstances as well. By soothing
the nerves, CBD helps the body to fall asleep faster and also the quality sleep that it needs.
Good sleep can also help the body in replenishing its worn and torn tissues faster.
The Changes Anticipated In NFL
The NFL, which has one of the strictest policies regarding drug testing, is now considering changing its
policies, especially the ones that are related to CBD. The players who test positive for cannabis will not
be directly suspended from the team. Rather a fine will be imposed on them as per the number of times
that they test positive.
The threshold for testing has also been changed as the players now will only be tested during the first
two weeks of the training camp, in place of the April- August testing policy that was followed earlier.
These progressive changes seem to be a direct result of the changed perception that most people have
regarding CBD today.
It is also worthy to note here that CBD is legal in all the American states, with minor restrictions on the
amount and the concentration of the product. Players are the happiest with this new move as they are
of the opinion that CBD works much better and is far less addictive than the painkillers that are given on
prescription. Even the sports associations around the world are also likely to reconsider their policy on
CBD after this change.
Actress Osas Ighodaro Celebrates Her 30th Birthday With Emotional Post
Nigerian actress, Osas Ighodaro penned an emotional note via Instagram as she clocked 30-years-old on Monday.
To mark her birthday, the single mother of one posted a monochrome photo of herself as she wished for people to continue praying for those who lost their lives during these turbulent period.
“Thank God for another year. Happy Birthday to me. If you know me, you know I absolutely love birthdays but this year it certainly hits different. I’m overwhelming grateful for life and thankful to God to be able to see another birthday bc unfortunately many haven’t and won’t have that opportunity.
I am hopeful for better days for myself, those that I love and hold dear and most certainly for my country Nigeria. I pray for unity, peace, harmony and togetherness. We all deserve it.
My birthday wish is to please continue to pray for those innocent lives lost. Please remain hopeful and focused because I truly believe better days are soon ahead by God’s grace.
Peace, Love and Blessings.”
See her post below:
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