If you ARE dating a punisher, well, you need to end that. STAT.
You know that feeling you got when you were a kid and were called down to the principal’s office? Dread, morbid curiosity, fear, a sense of impending doom? Chances are, if you’re dating a punisher, you feel the same way whenever you disagree on something, or hear the words, “We need to talk.” (That is, if he isn’t busy icing you out, which is also a very strong possibility.)
A punisher thrives on guilt, drama and self-victimization. Nothing is ever his fault, and his happiness and well-being is entirely your responsibility.
Everything is your problem. If you make any kind of mistake — whether you eat the leftovers he never bothered telling you he wanted for lunch tomorrow, or spend too much time with a coworker at post-work drinks — you’ll literally never hear the end of it.
He looks for reasons to get upset, and when he finds them … well, he punishes you, whether it be through a silent guilt trip or incessant whining.
When it gets to an extreme degree, though, know that a punisher may veer from douchebag territory into a full-blown emotional abuser.
Still on the fence as to whether your man is a punisher? Read on and find out. And good luck, because you’ll probably need it:
1. You’re never sure when he’s going to snap.
2. You’re all too familiar with this facial expression.
3. Your arguments are pointless, but they last forever because he just can’t let sh*t go.
4. When your debates are finally over, he mutters under his breath or posts passive-aggressive Facebook statuses about the very issue you thought you had resolved.
5. He’s so focused on being angry and getting you back that he has no qualms about wrecking the foundation you built together.
6. Whenever you get upset over his endless drama, he’s like … you mad?
7. The silent treatment is a regular occurrence (and sometimes a relief).
8. He holds grudges against everyone, not just you, and wants to drag everyone down to his miserable level.
9. He loves using guilt as a weapon.
10. He’ll apologize occasionally, but he never actually means it.
11. He withholds affection when he knows it would comfort and reassure you after a fight.
12. He won’t actually tell you why he’s mad, just that it’s your fault.
13. It’s to the point that whenever he opens his mouth, you’re like …shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut up!
Seriously though, why are you still dating this jerk?