Here are the three most damaging and widespread expectations that kill relationships.
1. “If they really loved me they would know what I needed.”
People are not mind readers. No one can know what you want from them in every moment without you expressing your desires. When you withhold your needs or desires from your partner you are abandoning yourself.
If you want to be in a highly functioning relationship, learn to communicate your personal desires. Some people think that it’s easy to tell their partner what they want … but it’s often not. It can be the most terrifying thing in the world to tell someone (that you care so deeply about) the truth of what you’re feeling … or be the one to initiate sex after a week-long dry spell.
And if it feels too scary to tell them what you want … start by telling them where you’re at.
If you want to ask for something new or different in bed but you’re nervous to bring it up, you could start by saying “I want to ask you for something right now, but I’m feeling really nervous about it … and it might be silly once it comes out, but I’m still worried about what you’ll think of me for wanting it.”
Communicate your honest desires. Be as forthcoming as possible. And if you’re nervous or apprehensive for any reason, simply tell them where you’re at.
2. “I should love my partner unconditionally.”
No, you absolutely should not. Healthy love between consenting intimate partners is not unconditional.
While you should absolutely make a concerted effort to have a deep and resilient love for your intimate partner, there are certain conditions that, if broken, are going to have an impact on your love for them (or on the relationship itself).
Maybe they hit you. Maybe they have come home drunk every night for weeks on end, and it’s affecting the relationship. Maybe they haven’t said a word to you in over a week, despite living together. Would your love not become conditional if any of these were to occur?
Healthy love is conditional. If you are expecting reasonable things to be occurring (“treating me like a king/queen every single day” doesn’t count) and they aren’t occurring, that can be grounds for the love/relationship to end.
3. “It shouldn’t take work.”
I hear this one quite often just because of what my line of work is … but I’ve heard it from clients, non-clients, friends, family members and people from all walks of life.
There’s this romantic notion that if a relationship is destined to work out, then it should work out … with no effort or intentionality from the partners involved. It should function on autopilot. It should be effortless. And there should never be anything that feels like “work.”
Every couple that I know that have an abnormally high functioning relationship all put in the work.
They are brilliantly effective communicators, because they have read books, attended seminars and put in the work in order to find out how their partner uniquely needs to be communicated to/with. They have sizzling sex lives, because they have put in the time to get to know their bodies and their own unique turn-ons. They go on week long re-connecting vacations in order to explore each other’s bodies and talk about their dreams for the future.
Whenever a conflict arises between them, either subtly or obviously, they tackle it head on and see if they can come to an amicable solution that sees both of their emotional needs being met. Whatever comes up as a problem for them, they have a mutually agreed-upon pact that it won’t stay a problem for long.
The bottom line is … people in high functioning relationships put in the work. And it pays off.
All relationships are for healing. And yours is no different.
So, if you think that the idea of scheduling date nights in your calendar is unromantic, then you might want to question that belief and ask if it’s serving you and your relationship.
An intentional love life is a thriving love life. If you ignore the little things, your relationship will eventually suffer. If you prioritize the little things, your relationship will eventually thrive.
Your committed intimacy is either stagnating or deepening. There is no middle ground.
Avoid These Nigerians Food To Burn Stubborn Belly Fat (Video)
Being overweight or obese can be detrimental to your health. It is not advisable to have excess fat in the abdominal cavity because it can lead to some health issues. Getting your dream body will not be easy and you need to make some sacrifices to your diet. You will also need to turn a blind eye to some fatty foods.
If you’re ready to get rid of the belly fat, then stay put as Information Nigeria brings you some important tips that will help.
1. Avoid sugar and carbonated drinks
Did you know that consuming sugary substances like coke, fanta can lead to weight gain and a number of health problems like high blood pressure?. This is due to the high fructose content found in added sugars. Taking sugar-filled drinks may slow your metabolism and this in turn can make it harder for your body to burn fat. Fructose can only be metabolized by your liver. When you consume too much, you push your liver to its limit and it becomes overloaded, then it turns the fructose into fat and it ends up getting stored in your belly. To avoid putting yourself from risk, you should cut back on foods and drinks that contain huge amounts of sugar.
2. You also have to forgo junk foods like meat pie, cakes, rolls, candies, burgers, ice cream and cookies. You also need to do away with heavy foods like eba, akpu, pounded yam, rice among others. Switch up your eating habits and opt for a more balanced-diet if you want to burn your belly fat. Avoid consuming refined carbs like bread, pizza, potation chips etc. You should also stay away from processed and heavy foods because they contribute to stubborn belly fat. You should choose to eat proteinous foods like fish, eggs, and milk. starch contains fat, sugar and salt. They help a person feel fuller so you don’t end up looking for something to munch on after eating. It basically keeps hunger at bay.
3. Eat the right amount of fruits, vegetables, fibrous foods and whole grains – You can add vegetables, fruits and whole grains to your weight loss diet. They provide essential vitamins, minerals, fiber and other substances that are good for your body. Examples of fibre rich foods include; beans, broccoli, avocados, apples, oatmeal brown rice and whole grain bread.
4. Try to incorporate exercise into your daily or weekly routine – Exercise helps to speed up your metabolism and helps you shed weight. The bitter truth is that wearing just waist trainers and staying put in one position will not make you lose that stubborn belly fat. You should hit the gym.
5 Reduce alcohol intake – Excess intake of alcohol also leads to a host of health problems especially the build-up of fat in the belly area. Have you ever noticed that those who drink alcohol, especially men, often develop ‘pot-bellies’. Alcoholic drinks like beer provide your body with calories and very little nutrients. It can also increase your appetite. Replace the alcoholic drinks with water or alternate with low calorie, non-alcoholic beverages. Too much alcohol can cause liver damage and other serious health problems.
6. Try out apple cider vinegar – Apple cider vinegar is made in a two-step fermentation process. It is obtained from apples that have been crushed, distilled and fermented. Acetic acid is the main active component of apple cider vinegar. It is safe for consumption in small quantities and can be taken as a supplement. Do not also consume it straight from the bottle or in its pure form. Add 1 to 2 tablespoons to water before you drink. You can also add honey or lemon. It is best to drink it before your meals. Research shows it has many health benefits, such as lowering blood sugar levels.
Williams Uchemba And His Wife Exchange Wedding Vows In Lagos (Video)
Popular Nigerian actor, Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar have officially solemnized their union.
The couple finally exchanged their wedding vows at Dominion city church in Lagos state.
The beautiful wedding ceremony was reportedly officiated by the founder of the church, Dr. David Chukwudi Ogbueli alias Papa Eagle.
Celebrities, fans and well-wishers poured in congratulatory message for the couple after photos and videos from the ceremony hit the internet.
The actor wore a sleek tuxedo, while his bride, wore a lovely white gown.
Watch the videos below:
— Ngozi Clara (@ngoziclara) November 21, 2020
Actor, Model, Comedian, Philanthropist… Meet The Latest Groom, Williams Uchemba
Williams Uchemba, who was born on October 22, is an actor, motivational speaker, model, comedian, entrepreneur and philanthropist. The Abia-born thespian graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in International Relation from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka in Enugu State.
Uchemba began his career in the early 2000s as a child actor and came into the limelight in 2001 after appearing in the Nollywood blockbuster movie, “The Journey of the Dead” along with Olu Jacobs, Ramsey Noah, and Pete Edochie.
Since then, the multi-talented actor never looked back as he has gone ahead to feature in more blockbuster movies like Sugar Rush (2019), Merry Men 2(2019) and Story Story: The African Rideshare (2018). He is the recipient of several awards.
The actor adopted an 18-year-old furniture maker in June and he promised to sponsor his education. He recently got married to his longtime girlfriend, Brunella Oscar at her hometown, Alor in Anambra state. The actor’s wife, Brunella opened up on their love story with Wedding Digest Naija and she disclosed that she made the first move. According to the English trained medical doctor, they both met on Facebook after she sent him a message.
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