We all experience a variety of difficulties in our lives—new jobs, new relationships, divorces, death. Not knowing how to help others or even help ourselves can keep us from moving on in a positive direction. There are several things you can do to deal with the pain of secrets in your own life or in another’s.
1. Get help
When you keep finding yourself at a dead end or are unable to move forward in a positive direction, there is probably something that you need to pay attention to. Getting help to find out what is causing the problem is a crucial first step.
2. Acknowledge it
Once you find out what the issue is, you need to acknowledge the thing that has permeated your life and held you back. Too often, people are afraid to pinpoint those issues because it creates change and brings things into the light, sometimes straining family relationships. Acknowledging the issue will help you find peace and is essential to removing the excess baggage you’ve been carrying around.
3. Gather others
Just remember you are not alone. There are others who suffer silently, too. Your bravery to acknowledge the secret can be helpful to those who need help acknowledging their own pains. Don’t be afraid to approach others who have experienced the same thing as you. You need someone to stand with you, and their support will be helpful as you face your family secrets.
4. Don’t dwell
Once you begin working through a painful moment in your life, move forward. It may be difficult to get over challenging issues or family secrets, but moving away from them is important. Failure to move on will only get you stuck. Being stuck is its own challenging and painful thing. It takes effort to move through things. It won’t just happen. But you can do it!
5. Don’t give up
As you confront secrets or pain in your life, you’re likely to run into road blocks. These road blocks can take the form of family members, friends, government entities and legal authorities. There is often emotional pain involved when one attempts to confront the hidden things in their lives.