The first thing you want to do when you find out your man has stepped out on you is kick his ass. It’s not an easy thing to control your emotions, but there are three things you want to work on when you are sure (preferably with evidence):
– Take back your power.
– Keep your dignity
– Don’t do anything that will land you in the slammer.
Easier said than done, right?
Here’s what you need to do to win in this situation.
• Don’t say anything until you have evidence. Don’t go by what Keneisha said or what you think. You have to have proof… a receipt, a text message, a selfie of him and his side chick. If you don’t have proof, he will cover his tracks or worse, go undercover even deeper.
• Never, ever, ever, ever, ever let him make you feel responsible. A cheater is responsible for his own actions. You don’t hold a gun to his head or make him do anything. Do not feel you are responsible and do not allow him to make you feel that way either. See, that’s where marriage vows come in… this living-together thing ya’ll do… there is no stated commitment, but when you actually get married, vows are made.
• Do not give him time to make a decision. He made a commitment to you… he does not deserve options now. You tell him what you want then and there. If you give him time to “figure things out,” you are giving him time to figure out how to get away with it with the least amount of effort. Think things through. Be ready.
• Don’t cry. Of course it will be hard! You cannot be vulnerable at this point. Keep your dignity. This is not a competition. You should be No. 1, and that’s all there is to it. No begging. Don’t whine and say, “Why did you do it?” He did it because he is weak and undeserving of a good woman. Your marriage/relationship is not negotiable.
• Don’t beat yourself up trying to figure out why he did it. You are not responsible for his actions. Don’t waste your energy on that. Focus on you now. Decide what you want and move forward with that.
It’s not going to be easy. You have to decide what the consequences will be when you confront a cheater. It could be the end of a relationship. Are you ready for that?