You know that irresistible urge to compliment someone who lost weight? Well, before doing so, know this: Your comments are welcome, but please, for the sanity of all former overweight folks, don’t dip your toe in tactless waters.
There’s a difference between, “Good for you! How’d you do it?” and trying to pinpoint the newly-svelte person’s bra size. At work. With clients around.
Trust me, I should know. I lost 70 pounds from August 2006 through February 2007 and have managed to keep it off ever since. I’ve received all kinds of comments regarding my transformation. Some have been kind. Others, not so much.
Here are 10 things that someone who lost weight doesn’t really want to hear, no matter how proud they are for their ability to shed pounds.
1. How much more do you have to go?
Um, I just lost 50 pounds, pal.
I think I’m just about there.
2. Wow, you look so pretty/handsome now.
Oh, so that explains why children broke out in expressions of terror at the sight of my former fatness, clinging to their mommy’s skirt hems for dear life.
Whew. Thank goodness I’m pretty now, because honestly, all those phone calls from movie directors in need of homely nerds and/or nightmare-inducing faces were getting to be too much.
It’s as though a person who loses weight magically morphs from Frankenstein to Fabulous, and it’s crucial that people point this out.
Hey, whatever happened to all that “it’s on the inside that counts” stuff?
3. So, what size are you?
I know that these days, people are pretty comfortable telling strangers everything from what romantic bedroom positions float their boat to how they have a thing for collecting toenail clippings. But really, is anything sacred anymore?
Not that our clothing size is on par with revealing salaries or some horrible childhood memory, but I’m sure all of our lives will go on just fine with people not knowing whether I’m a small, medium or large or whether I went from a D or C cup to B or an A.
4. I bet you have so many admirers now!
Why yes, I say, as I toss the latest love letter from Brad Pitt and David Beckham into my stash of marriage proposals and naughty notes. (Some letters are more boring: “Jen, you look so pretty now. What size are you, anyway? XOXO, David B”).
This one gets me because well, it’s somewhat true. And like most humans, sometimes the truth hurts (some say it hurts, I say it often pisses me off). Because in reality, yes, people do treat me differently. No, not in that admirers-lined-up-at-the-door kind of way, but in daily interactions. Both men and women tend to be more receptive to ideas and interested in general conversation, doors are held open from longer-than-normal distances and restaurant checks with a missing side order will be dismissed with a smile.
Inside, I’m the same person I always was, just tinier. And it’s that latter part that seems to make people a tad friendlier.
Some people I mention this to become angered, saying that such niceness was really around all along. They maintain that it was me — grumpy, fat, miserable “the world is against plus-size me” me — who refused to see it.
Perhaps they are right.
5. Do you have stretch marks?
Thanks for your, um, concern.
It’s like this.
You know how you go to the grocery store and when you’re checking out, you tear off a nice, smooth plastic bag from the hook? Then you stash it beyond capacity with ice cream, pudding packs and candy bars? When you get home and put the items away, the empty plastic bag has all kinds of folds and wrinkles in random places.
You reuse the bag at home, maybe loading it up again for use as tomorrow’s lunch bag, a flip-flop tote the day after that and so on.
It expands and empties, expands then empties.
Skin’s kinda like that.
6. Are you dying?
Seeing another’s weight loss transformation can be shocking, especially if they lost a significant amount. But sometimes the questions people ask are very rude.
“Are you dying?”
“Are you sick?”
“Do you have an eating disorder?”
Yes, I had this asked of me by a coworker years ago (his creative talent was somewhat admirable, his social skills not so much). He outright shot off a barrage of death-related questions the day I walked in wearing a noticeably smaller pant size.
I mean, who asks such questions? Thinking them is one thing, but outright asking is another.
A few days later, though, he complimented me on my toned upper arms (“nice guns”). I think it was an attempt to apologize for all the death talk. In his eyes, I might have been on the brink of choosing a casket, but at least I’d be resting there with some damn nice looking arms crossed over my chest.
7. I liked you fatter.
Great, and I liked you quieter.
I’m happier being able to tie my shoes without four rolls of belly bulge beating me to the punch, thank you very much.
And what’s that supposed to mean anyway? Are people losing out on “I think she’ll eat another slice in an hour” bets with friends? Am I suddenly void of all things jovial (because, as we all know, rotund folks are always super-duper jolly)?
8. Oh, c’mon. You can have another dish of ice cream.
I can. But I won’t. That’s what landed me in this whole situation in the first place.
This is by far the most terrorizing thing for those who lost weight. When you’ve just shed any amount of weight, a dinner out with friends is on par with driving in New Jersey traffic during rush hour: scary. (I can say that; I lived there for over 20 years and survived Garden State Parkway commutes. Bonus: While downing jelly donuts.)
Let us be!
9. What was it like?
Sometimes this question is asked meekly, as if people sense that I might break out in cheesecake-withdrawal spasms or screams. Or both.
Oh, weight loss is a feat to be proud of whether two or 402 pounds were dropped. Still, I’m not 1) a saver and protector of the world’s bad eaters or 2) a sad soul who lost my way along with my weight.
Yes, I’ve seen people make mean puffer fish “fat” faces in reference to my heft. Yes, I’ve become infuriated at the limited clothing styles that many plus-sizes carry. I’ve cried while consuming an entire box of crackers, I’ve laughed while eating a tub of family sized popcorn at the theater. I’ve rolled my eyes at suggestions to lower my weight. Blah. Blah.
And now, I’m not in that world. I’m happy to not be there anymore, so sometimes, questions that force me to go back to a place and time I’d rather forget doesn’t give me a case of warm and fuzzies.
I’m a green smoothie-making, kale-eating woman now. I eat hemp seeds, enjoy muesli and drink almond milk. Enough of the candy bar memories.
10. You’re so pulled together now.
Akin to the “you’re pretty now” comment, this one makes me feel like I must have looked as if I was roaming the Earth in a state of bleary eyed nothingness. But now, I’ve lost weight. So you see, I’m all toss-my-hat-in-the-air Mary Tyler Moore with my confident self.
Funny how people view me because I’ve changed physically. I was always a hard worker, talking in perfectly-timed “close the loop,” “make it happen,” and “I’m on it” corporate speak. Hmmm. Perhaps saying it with a thinner body makes people think I mean it more.
Actress Osas Ighodaro Celebrates Her 30th Birthday With Emotional Post
Nigerian actress, Osas Ighodaro penned an emotional note via Instagram as she clocked 30-years-old on Monday.
To mark her birthday, the single mother of one posted a monochrome photo of herself as she wished for people to continue praying for those who lost their lives during these turbulent period.
“Thank God for another year. Happy Birthday to me. If you know me, you know I absolutely love birthdays but this year it certainly hits different. I’m overwhelming grateful for life and thankful to God to be able to see another birthday bc unfortunately many haven’t and won’t have that opportunity.
I am hopeful for better days for myself, those that I love and hold dear and most certainly for my country Nigeria. I pray for unity, peace, harmony and togetherness. We all deserve it.
My birthday wish is to please continue to pray for those innocent lives lost. Please remain hopeful and focused because I truly believe better days are soon ahead by God’s grace.
Peace, Love and Blessings.”
See her post below:
Exotic Resorts May Be the Best Bet for a Holiday
An exotic vacation usually means exploring a distant foreign country, whilst resorts are places
to go for rest, sport, or which offers a particular speciality, with many resorts being part of a
popular tourist destination or on or near a beach. If you are planning a vacation to an exotic
resort it can be a once-in-a-lifetime vacation to a far-flung destination or a luxurious place to
stay closer to home where you can enjoy some pampering.
Why stay at an exotic resort
Exotic resorts often offer all-inclusive vacation deals, along with other options that leave you
to plan your stay more precisely to your own wishes. These resorts offer excellent customer
service, superb accommodation and facilities and are usually to be found in beautiful settings.
Here are some of the best resorts from around the world for you to consider:
Four Seasons Resort, Seychelles
This famous resort has made many feel they have entered Paradise. The gentle ocean breeze
floats up the granite hillside and into your tree-house villa tucked away from the other guests
staying at the resort. This is perfect for encouraging you to relax, either by your private pool
or in the clear blue waters of Petite Anse Bay. Perfect for a romantic stay, there is a Spa for
pampering and the chance for a sunset meal on a deserted beach.
Some enjoy simply sitting on their balcony, gazing at the ocean between reading their book,
sketching or checking out international bookmakers and betting sites for the chance of a
flutter. If you want another type of adrenaline kick, check out the resorts excellent kayaking
and snorkelling facilities, which are recommended by nearly all who try it.
Anantara Resort, Hua Hin, Thailand
The ultimate tropical getaway, the Anantara Resort is an award-winning site modelled on a
traditional Thai village and is just three hours drive south of Bangkok. The location is where
Thai royalty and aristocrats have been holidaying for almost one-hundred years. Today, you
can visit historical attractions alongside theme parks and shops as well as vineyards and golf
The resort is set among 14 acres of lush tropical grounds with lotus-filled lagoons and
meandering pathways through exotic foliage, with many rooms overlooking the shoreline.
Each day, chefs prepare freshly caught local seafood alongside Thai specialities. The resort
also has an award-winning spa located within a lagoon-inspired oasis offering you the perfect
opportunity to relax.
Kurumba is a well-established resort that opened almost 50 years ago and continues to offer
superb hospitality and contemporary facilities. There are seven speciality restaurants offering
cuisine from Italy to the Middle East as well as Thila, a restaurant which extends out over the
water which offers gourmet breakfasts and seafood dinners.
You can go snorkelling over the nearby reef full of colourful marine life or sign up to a dive
package as part of your stay, or just enjoy a private pool when staying at one of the spacious
villages. There are also deluxe beachfront bungalows offering direct beach access and views
of the crystal-clear waters.
Healthcare Workers To Receive Coca-Cola-Funded PPEs From Nigerian Red Cross
Since the outbreak of the Coronavirus disease in Nigeria, our healthcare workers have continued to lead the charge against the disease. As the number of recorded COVID-19 cases in Nigeria began to increase, these healthcare workers rose to the challenge and fought tirelessly to protect the lives of Nigerians impacted by the disease.
Considering the risks these healthcare workers face, there is a crucial need for adequate protective equipment for these brave frontline workers.
Coca-Cola is excited that over 400,000 Personal Protective Equipment (PPEs) procured to support the intervention efforts of the Nigerian Government and other key stakeholders to fight the COVID 19 pandemic have arrived. We do believe that this will to provide succor to our healthcare workers on the frontlines
These PPEs comprise N95 respirators, surgical masks, examination gloves, face shields, medical gowns, no-touch thermometers, disposable aprons, heavy-duty rubber gloves, rubber boots, basic masks, disposable gloves, and hand sanitizers.
Since the first confirmed case of the disease in Nigeria reported in February, over 800 healthcare workers have contracted the disease. While Nigerians are encouraged to stay home where possible and practice social distancing, these healthcare workers are needed across the country in the continued fight against the disease.
This donation forms part of The Coca-Cola Foundation’s COVID-19 relief interventions in Nigeria. The Coca-Cola Foundation has provided $2.5m in grant to IFRC who seeks to directly impact the lives of 1.4 million people in Nigeria and across other countries in West and Central Africa under this partnership.
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