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4 After Effects Of Severing A Toxic Relationship

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HOW-TO-BREAK-UP

Congratulations. You finally did it. You deserve a f*cking medal.

It wasn’t easy. In fact, it might have been one of the hardest things you’ve ever done.

Having the courage to let go of “that” toxic person is not easy. A relationship that, in your mind, was meant to be so much more, finally ended.

This person had a power over you — emotionally, physically, or both — for so long. You might have dated him or her on the side or been together for eight years. Sometimes, the length of time isn’t even a factor.

Let me define “that” person: It’s who you always had in the back of your mind when you were out with friends; you wondered if he or she would ever send a text to meet up after.

You two might occasionally hook up, but never go to dinner. He or she may have made you feel “crazy” at times for wanting to spend more time together, but on his or her terms. Whatever the situation, it went on for too. damn. long.

At this point, I can feel you rolling your eyes, thinking, “Why would anybody waste their time on some person who doesn’t give a damn?” You may even call us weak. And, you’re absolutely right.

I did feel weak and pathetic, but that feeling is long gone.

More often than not, the relationships from which we learn the most are the ones that fail. If nothing else, take the lessons and move on, entirely for yourself. Now that the chains (emotional) are finally broken, how do you feel?

Maybe you had that “a ha!” moment, when you decided you’re worth more than 10 of “that” person put together.

For me, it was as if I woke up one day and finally pulled my head out of my ass; what happened after that was a glorious thing.

The positives sh*t on the negatives. You thought you’d be stuck in this torture until another person came along, right?

Well, you’re better than that.

You Hold The Power

For whatever reason, we let this person get under our skin and linger in our thoughts.

We blame it on the relationship feeling “unfinished,” almost like there’s a tiny glimpse of hope the person could suddenly wake up one day and want to be with us. This hope could go on for days, months or even years.

We make excuses for them like, “S/he’s just focusing on her/his career right now,” “S/he just needs to get her/his ducks in a row,” or my personal favorite, “S/he doesn’t have time to date.”

Whatever we tell ourselves during this time is a complete lie. But, yet, we refuse to believe the truth.

You finally grasp hold of the radical concept that people make time for the things that are important to them. It’s strangely simple, but strangely hard to keep in mind.

After letting go of this person, the excuses fade. Now, the explanation becomes “I’m worth more.”

If you’ve never had to struggle with letting go, you’re lucky. I envy you. If you have, you know this situation all too well.

For the first time in a long time, it’s a truly liberating feeling.

Let Freedom Ring

Ending this toxic relationship lets you focus on you. Before, you might have been focused on you, but not 100 percent.

The “What if I start to date and then ‘that’ person wants me back?” thought might cross your mind. Our minds can play terrible tricks on us.

Deleting his or her number, deleting the last photo you took together or refusing to message back can be the first step to ending the self-inflicted madness. It takes 30 days to break any habit, right? When it comes to our heart, I believe that to be completely wrong.

The more time that passes, the lonelier you may feel and the more you may want to reach out to “that” person while out one night, drunk on tequila. Don’t mess up the progress you’ve made.

Like almost every drunken hookup, you’ll regret it in the morning.

Hey, You! Remember You?

For the first time in a long time, you are on your own with no one to send memes to or contact for an occasional hookup.

Scary? Yes. Worst thing in the world? No.

I constantly rolled my eyes when friends and parents would say, “Do things for yourself!” and, “If you aren’t happy with yourself, someone else won’t fill that void.” I rolled my eyes a lot.

I believed it was the cookie-cutter bullsh*t you hear from your friends because you’re single and they aren’t. How could someone who’s in a relationship even begin to understand your side?

One day, we finally get it: Why do we tend not to put ourselves first?

You are the most important person in your life, so start treating yourself like it, you sexy single. Constant self-hate and a miserable, “f*ck it” attitude takes a toll on you, mentally and physically.

If you don’t want to be around yourself, why should anyone else?

No Pain, No Gain

Yes, pain blows. Nobody likes to feel hurt or be treated poorly. Frankly, I brought a lot of pain upon myself.

I would text back; I would drop my schedule for him; I would make excuses. I could have (and should have) cut the cord a long time ago. And, by a long time, I mean months.

Why do we keep putting ourselves in those situations? Why would be settle for anything less than we deserve?

Like almost all the quotes on Pinterest, a handful of people claim, “We must see the darkness to appreciate the light.” It’s extremely cheesy, I know, but there is some meaning behind it and other quotes at which we may roll our eyes (guilty).

Once you start to look at all of this as a learning experience, things will change for the better.

The mind is a scary, powerful tool. Sprinkling in a little confidence and positivity after this experience will work wonders on the mind and body.

Hell, we’ve gone through the worst, and now, we won’t compromise who we are and how far we’ve come for “that” person who comes along in the future. We know better.

Congratulations, again.

Elitedaily.com

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Taiwo Amorin

    March 17, 2015 at 10:55 am

    So much in love with this topic, 4 after effect of serving a toxic relationship! Have just regained conciousness after been trough 1 of this kind of relationship, I pass trough hell to heaven, now,am in heaven on earth.

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Health and Food

Avoid These Nigerians Food To Burn Stubborn Belly Fat (Video)

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Being overweight or obese can be detrimental to your health. It is not advisable to have excess fat in the abdominal cavity because it can lead to some health issues. Getting your dream body will not be easy and you need to make some sacrifices to your diet. You will also need to turn a blind eye to some fatty foods.

If you’re ready to get rid of the belly fat, then stay put as Information Nigeria brings you some important tips that will help.

1. Avoid sugar and carbonated drinks

Did you know that consuming sugary substances like coke, fanta can lead to weight gain and a number of health problems like high blood pressure?. This is due to the high fructose content found in added sugars. Taking sugar-filled drinks may slow your metabolism and this in turn can make it harder for your body to burn fat. Fructose can only be metabolized by your liver. When you consume too much, you push your liver to its limit and it becomes overloaded, then it turns the fructose into fat and it ends up getting stored in your belly. To avoid putting yourself from risk, you should cut back on foods and drinks that contain huge amounts of sugar.

 

2. You also have to forgo junk foods like meat pie, cakes, rolls, candies, burgers, ice cream and cookies. You also need to do away with heavy foods like eba, akpu, pounded yam, rice among others. Switch up your eating habits and opt for a more balanced-diet if you want to burn your belly fat. Avoid consuming refined carbs like bread, pizza, potation chips etc. You should also stay away from processed and heavy foods because they contribute to stubborn belly fat. You should choose to eat proteinous foods like fish, eggs, and milk. starch contains fat, sugar and salt. They help a person feel fuller so you don’t end up looking for something to munch on after eating. It basically keeps hunger at bay.

3. Eat the right amount of fruits, vegetables, fibrous foods and whole grains – You can add vegetables, fruits and whole grains to your weight loss diet. They provide essential vitamins, minerals, fiber and other substances that are good for your body. Examples of fibre rich foods include; beans, broccoli, avocados, apples, oatmeal brown rice and whole grain bread.

4. Try to incorporate exercise into your daily or weekly routine – Exercise helps to speed up your metabolism and helps you shed weight. The bitter truth is that wearing just waist trainers and staying put in one position will not make you lose that stubborn belly fat. You should hit the gym.

5 Reduce alcohol intake – Excess intake of alcohol also leads to a host of health problems especially the build-up of fat in the belly area. Have you ever noticed that those who drink alcohol, especially men, often develop ‘pot-bellies’. Alcoholic drinks like beer provide your body with calories and very little nutrients. It can also increase your appetite. Replace the alcoholic drinks with water or alternate with low calorie, non-alcoholic beverages. Too much alcohol can cause liver damage and other serious health problems.

6. Try out apple cider vinegar – Apple cider vinegar is made in a two-step fermentation process. It is obtained from apples that have been crushed, distilled and fermented. Acetic acid is the main active component of apple cider vinegar. It is safe for consumption in small quantities and can be taken as a supplement. Do not also consume it straight from the bottle or in its pure form. Add 1 to 2 tablespoons to water before you drink. You can also add honey or lemon. It is best to drink it before your meals. Research shows it has many health benefits, such as lowering blood sugar levels.

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Entertainment

Williams Uchemba And His Wife Exchange Wedding Vows In Lagos (Video)

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Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar

Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar

Popular Nigerian actor, Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar have officially solemnized their union.

The couple finally exchanged their wedding vows at Dominion city church in Lagos state.

The beautiful wedding ceremony was reportedly officiated by the founder of the church, Dr. David Chukwudi Ogbueli alias Papa Eagle.

Celebrities, fans and well-wishers poured in congratulatory message for the couple after photos and videos from the ceremony hit the internet.

The actor wore a sleek tuxedo, while his bride,  wore a lovely white gown.

Read Also:Actor Williams Uchemba Set To Walk Down The Aisle With Mystery Woman

Watch the videos below:

https://twitter.com/gregorogholi/status/1330121905387540483?s=21

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Entertainment

Actor, Model, Comedian, Philanthropist… Meet The Latest Groom, Williams Uchemba

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Williams Uchemba

Williams Uchemba

Williams Uchemba, who was born on October 22, is an actor, motivational speaker, model, comedian, entrepreneur and philanthropist. The Abia-born thespian graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in International Relation from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka in Enugu State.

Uchemba began his career in the early 2000s as a child actor and came into the limelight in 2001 after appearing in the Nollywood blockbuster movie, “The Journey of the Dead” along with Olu Jacobs, Ramsey Noah, and Pete Edochie.

Since then, the multi-talented actor never looked back as he has gone ahead to feature in more blockbuster movies like Sugar Rush (2019), Merry Men 2(2019) and Story Story: The African Rideshare (2018). He is the recipient of several awards.

The actor adopted an 18-year-old furniture maker in June and he promised to sponsor his education. He recently got married to his longtime girlfriend, Brunella Oscar at her hometown, Alor in Anambra state. The actor’s wife, Brunella opened up on their love story with Wedding Digest Naija and she disclosed that she made the first move. According to the English trained medical doctor, they both met on Facebook after she sent him a message.

 

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