I have often been asked by women, “Why do men cheat?” I’m asked this question not because I am an author, relationship coach, speaker, writer or blogger. I am asked this question simply because, I am a man. The women who ask are desperate to understand how a man they trusted could commit such a treacherous act of betrayal that cuts so deeply. If anyone would know, they suppose, it would be another man. At the very least, maybe another man can offer some words of relief from the pain they feel. There are any number of reasons a man cheats on a woman.
None of them are justified.
There is no justifiable reason for the willful breaking of a woman’s heart by a man that professes to love her.
Men Cheat For The Thrill
Men cheat for the thrill. There is a segment of men that reportedly cheat to see if the proverbial ‘sword is still sharp’. There is a reason for every action. To say a man cheats for the thrill raises another important question. “What thrill is worth the threat of losing a woman?” What makes this a risk worth taking? Is there something deeper that leads to such reckless behavior that is overlooked in such a shallow reasoning?
Monogamy Is Unnatural
Monogamy is unnatural. If a man believes monogamy is unnatural, why does he promise a woman that he will be faithful? If monogamy is unnatural, is lying the equalizer? What hope does a man have of remaining true or does his promise only represent empty words uttered to secure her trust in him? Oddly, monogamy seems to only be unnatural for men. It tends to be a popular argument that men cite as an attempt to bridge nature with the profane act of infidelity.
Men Are Hunters
Men are hunters. Their biological primal instinct drives them to the bed of multiple women in order to progenate. The problem here is that, most cheating men are not interested in procreation. They are only interested in expending their seed because an orgasm is not possible otherwise. Most have no desire to father children with the women that they selfishly use to satisfy their sexual needs.
Beneath The Male Veil
I have listed three of the many reasons given for men that cheat. I could have chosen any other three reasons. Ultimately, it does not matter whether it was the three reasons I listed or three others. Those reasons do not delve into the heart of why cheating men cheat. I intentionally said ‘why cheating men cheat’ not ‘why men cheat.’ That distinction is necessary to make.
Cheating is a decision, not a biological code that all men have.
The overwhelming numbers of men, who cheat, have every intention to cheat. They are not ‘caught up’ by women they cannot resist during a moment of weakness. They pursue the multiple sexual relationships they find themselves in. These men have misunderstandings of the true nature and intent of manhood. They measure manhood by sexual conquests which gains them rank among their peers who also share the same distorted beliefs.
Men who cheat view women as objects rather than persons deserving of love not abuse. They use women to establish their reign among other weak men who manipulate and control women that are vulnerable to their wicked devices. These men have not been taught to genuinely love women. Love is the greatest sacrifice. Men that love are faithful and true.
At the root of this problem, is a number of men who have not been fathered. Some actually had fathers present in their lives, but absent from duty. To be properly fathered, is to be taught the rudiments of manhood. When boys are taught to use their strength to honor and protect girls, they grow into men that understand their roles in the lives of the women that they choose to love.
The health of any society is easily diagnosed by viewing how the men love and care for the women of that society. Beneath the male veil are a number of lost boys that need fathers to lead through the rites of passage into proper manhood. To our great detriment, popular culture has redefined what it means to be a man. Until men begin to hold other men accountable, they will continue to find more reasons to justify betrayal against the very women that they were gifted to love.