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16 Signs Your Man Is Emotionally Unavailable

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Sigh. We’re here to help you recognize when your man is having a hard time getting in touch with his “feminine side”
1. Not talking. Sure, maybe your guy loves to talk about baseball, work, or that man cave he’s determined to build in the basement one day. But when it comes to subjects that require any degree of connecting with his emotional side — how your relationship is doing, how he feels about his crappy boss, his fears about how to pay for the kids’ educations — he clams up. Refusing to engage in any topic that might inflame emotions (“I don’t want to argue about that!”) is just a way of avoiding them altogether.

2. Being passive-aggressive. Many a passive-aggressive man has driven many a woman to near insanity. This is the guy who will say he’s going to do something, or agree with a plan, but subtly go out of his way to sabotage it. For instance, he says he definitely wants to visit your in-laws. But when the time comes, he’s always sick, or working too much, or (fill in excuse here). He’ll say he’s going to fix the garage door tomorrow, but then you have to remind him about it 50 times. He finally explodes because you’re “nagging.” He finds it virtually impossible to risk “confrontation” by saying no to something or saying how he really feels — and he may not even acknowledge how he really feels.

3. Having addictions. Addictions, be it to a substance, a hobby (even sports), work, food, porn, or anything else, always act as a great way for the EUM (emotionally unavailable male) to create distance in the relationship.

4. Affairs. Affairs are probably the most obvious way that a man can be emotionally unavailable to you. Patti Henry said that the men in her therapy describe affairs as an “oasis” where they feel appreciated. But he really should be creating that “oasis” with you.

5. Lying. Another way for an EUM to shirk responsibility for his own feelings and actions is simply to lie. Whether he’s saying that he fixed something when he didn’t, or he was at church when he was at the strip club, or that he never contacted his ex when he’s been emailing her for months, lying is a way for him to avoid uncomfortable emotions.

6. Lies of omission. While most men wouldn’t consider keeping information from you “so you don’t get upset” to be a lie, it is. And since it’s often easier to do than lying, and gives plausible deniability in case he’s caught (“I never said that I didn’t see my ex, I just forgot to mention that I did!”), lies of omission are some guys’ favorite way of avoiding dealing with their feelings and emotional repercussions.

7. Secret behavior. Whether a guy has a family in another state or he sneaks off to play fantasy football when you think he’s volunteering at a soup kitchen, secret behavior is yet another way of refusing to be genuine and accept responsibility.

8. Refusing to argue. While arguing might seem like a sign that the relationship is in trouble, it’s also a sign that two people can express their differences of opinion. But if he just won’t engage when there’s a disagreement and literally walks away whenever the conversation turns heated, that’s a sign he’s closed off from his emotions — possibly because he grew up in a household where arguing wasn’t done, or where it was done all the time, leaving him scared of and horrified by fights.

9. Physical avoidance. Never being home, coming home only when he knows you’re busy or about to go to bed, or staying in the basement, shed, garage, etc. are another red flag that a guy is emotionally unavailable. If he isn’t there physically, he certainly can’t be there emotionally either.

10. Raging. Shouting you down every time you bring up something he doesn’t want to acknowledge or hear is a clear sign that he’s not appropriately processing his feelings.

11. Being condescending. And he’s also avoiding dealing with real feelings when he talks down to you and says things like, “You want to talk again? Good God, woman, your lips flap so much they could power a jet engine!” or “Oh my God, are you crying again? You should have been an actress!”

12. Gaslighting. Telling a woman who wants to discuss controversial or emotional topics that she’s “crazy,” “hysterical,” “overly emotional,” “not normal,” “paranoid,” “nagging,” etc. is another indication he’s shut down.

13. Being difficult to communicate with. Not everyone knows how to communicate effectively, but being stubbornly obtuse about it is a good sign your partner just can’t do it. For instance, you may ask him what he wants for dinner and also what the two of you should do about the fact that your son is in jail again. He’ll answer the dinner part.

14. Making unilateral decisions. Not consulting you when he makes a major decision that affects both of you — such as getting a puppy or a vasectomy — might not seem like a sign he’s emotionally unavailable, but it is.

15. Communication breakdown. Staring at you blankly when you ask a question, not answering point-blank questions, or answering them in roundabout ways means your guy isn’t willing to face feelings and issues head-on. Instead, he’ll focus on minutiae instead of the big picture. For example, you say that there’s a hurricane coming and you better get in the basement and he says, “It’s not a hurricane, stupid! It’s a tornado! How could you not know the difference?”

16. Denial. He might say his family is awesome and his childhood was perfect, even though he’s told you his father was a raging drunk and his mother would beat him. Or he might tell you something vulnerable about himself but when you try to engage him more, he says he was “joking.” But denial, as they say, is an ugly thing. And it means he just can’t or won’t deal with real feelings — his own or yours.

The good news is that emotionally unavailable people — whether male or female (yes, women CAN be emotionally unavailable, though society makes it much more acceptable in men) — can learn how to connect with their feelings. But it takes work. And the person has to want to change and be willing to work consistently at it. In the end, though, he will be much happier for it, and so will your relationship!

Source: thestir.cafemom.com

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Health and Food

Avoid These Nigerians Food To Burn Stubborn Belly Fat (Video)

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Being overweight or obese can be detrimental to your health. It is not advisable to have excess fat in the abdominal cavity because it can lead to some health issues. Getting your dream body will not be easy and you need to make some sacrifices to your diet. You will also need to turn a blind eye to some fatty foods.

If you’re ready to get rid of the belly fat, then stay put as Information Nigeria brings you some important tips that will help.

1. Avoid sugar and carbonated drinks

Did you know that consuming sugary substances like coke, fanta can lead to weight gain and a number of health problems like high blood pressure?. This is due to the high fructose content found in added sugars. Taking sugar-filled drinks may slow your metabolism and this in turn can make it harder for your body to burn fat. Fructose can only be metabolized by your liver. When you consume too much, you push your liver to its limit and it becomes overloaded, then it turns the fructose into fat and it ends up getting stored in your belly. To avoid putting yourself from risk, you should cut back on foods and drinks that contain huge amounts of sugar.

 

2. You also have to forgo junk foods like meat pie, cakes, rolls, candies, burgers, ice cream and cookies. You also need to do away with heavy foods like eba, akpu, pounded yam, rice among others. Switch up your eating habits and opt for a more balanced-diet if you want to burn your belly fat. Avoid consuming refined carbs like bread, pizza, potation chips etc. You should also stay away from processed and heavy foods because they contribute to stubborn belly fat. You should choose to eat proteinous foods like fish, eggs, and milk. starch contains fat, sugar and salt. They help a person feel fuller so you don’t end up looking for something to munch on after eating. It basically keeps hunger at bay.

3. Eat the right amount of fruits, vegetables, fibrous foods and whole grains – You can add vegetables, fruits and whole grains to your weight loss diet. They provide essential vitamins, minerals, fiber and other substances that are good for your body. Examples of fibre rich foods include; beans, broccoli, avocados, apples, oatmeal brown rice and whole grain bread.

4. Try to incorporate exercise into your daily or weekly routine – Exercise helps to speed up your metabolism and helps you shed weight. The bitter truth is that wearing just waist trainers and staying put in one position will not make you lose that stubborn belly fat. You should hit the gym.

5 Reduce alcohol intake – Excess intake of alcohol also leads to a host of health problems especially the build-up of fat in the belly area. Have you ever noticed that those who drink alcohol, especially men, often develop ‘pot-bellies’. Alcoholic drinks like beer provide your body with calories and very little nutrients. It can also increase your appetite. Replace the alcoholic drinks with water or alternate with low calorie, non-alcoholic beverages. Too much alcohol can cause liver damage and other serious health problems.

6. Try out apple cider vinegar – Apple cider vinegar is made in a two-step fermentation process. It is obtained from apples that have been crushed, distilled and fermented. Acetic acid is the main active component of apple cider vinegar. It is safe for consumption in small quantities and can be taken as a supplement. Do not also consume it straight from the bottle or in its pure form. Add 1 to 2 tablespoons to water before you drink. You can also add honey or lemon. It is best to drink it before your meals. Research shows it has many health benefits, such as lowering blood sugar levels.

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Entertainment

Williams Uchemba And His Wife Exchange Wedding Vows In Lagos (Video)

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Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar

Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar

Popular Nigerian actor, Williams Uchemba and his wife, Brunella Oscar have officially solemnized their union.

The couple finally exchanged their wedding vows at Dominion city church in Lagos state.

The beautiful wedding ceremony was reportedly officiated by the founder of the church, Dr. David Chukwudi Ogbueli alias Papa Eagle.

Celebrities, fans and well-wishers poured in congratulatory message for the couple after photos and videos from the ceremony hit the internet.

The actor wore a sleek tuxedo, while his bride,  wore a lovely white gown.

Read Also:Actor Williams Uchemba Set To Walk Down The Aisle With Mystery Woman

Watch the videos below:

https://twitter.com/gregorogholi/status/1330121905387540483?s=21

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Entertainment

Actor, Model, Comedian, Philanthropist… Meet The Latest Groom, Williams Uchemba

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Williams Uchemba

Williams Uchemba

Williams Uchemba, who was born on October 22, is an actor, motivational speaker, model, comedian, entrepreneur and philanthropist. The Abia-born thespian graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in International Relation from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka in Enugu State.

Uchemba began his career in the early 2000s as a child actor and came into the limelight in 2001 after appearing in the Nollywood blockbuster movie, “The Journey of the Dead” along with Olu Jacobs, Ramsey Noah, and Pete Edochie.

Since then, the multi-talented actor never looked back as he has gone ahead to feature in more blockbuster movies like Sugar Rush (2019), Merry Men 2(2019) and Story Story: The African Rideshare (2018). He is the recipient of several awards.

The actor adopted an 18-year-old furniture maker in June and he promised to sponsor his education. He recently got married to his longtime girlfriend, Brunella Oscar at her hometown, Alor in Anambra state. The actor’s wife, Brunella opened up on their love story with Wedding Digest Naija and she disclosed that she made the first move. According to the English trained medical doctor, they both met on Facebook after she sent him a message.

 

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