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Reason Guys Fade Away Than Face Reality And How To Deal With It





In every relationship there is a moment when you must decide whether it’s serious or not. The Egg Lady—the cool, confident woman I’ve been with who told me on our first date about freezing her eggs—and I hit that “Is it serious?” moment about four months in. I’d made plans to go on tour with my band for five weeks without consulting her. Unsurprisingly, when I did let her in on the news, she wondered how I was feeling about “us.” I probably would have evaded the issue for weeks, but she wasn’t going to let me, and I immediately felt like a bit of a heel. The truth was, I wasn’t feeling great about “us.” I was pretty certain we lacked the passion and chemistry for the long haul, but I didn’t have the balls to just come out and tell her.

Men may like to show off their bravery in the face of adversities like a spider in your bathtub, but when it comes to breakups, we’re complete cowards. If a relationship isn’t working, the adult thing would be to sit down and tell the other person. Instead, as you know, we grow distant, make plans without you, hope you pick up on it, and then try to magically fade out of the picture—while leaving the door half open for a possible return. I would like to apologize on behalf of men for doing this, and try to explain our failures. Three facts behind it:

1. I think some men like to be in that not-quite-broken-up space, where we stick around even when things aren’t “going somewhere,” because we like to leave our options open. You know how they say that, when you’re looking for a new job, it’s always better to already have one? Men know that women, like employers, can smell the sad desperation of a lonely man on the hunt. Plus, while we’re looking around, we still have you, checking your phone, wondering where we are. Again, I apologize.

2. I also think many men (and many women) are chronically ambivalent when it comes to relationships. We don’t trust ourselves. Yes, I often hesitate to commit, but I also hesitate to break up. I worry I’m being too critical and expecting too much from a relationship, so I don’t trust my gut when my gut is shouting, “Retreat, retreat!” The result: I end up remaining in nebulous situations longer than I should.

3. Finally, most men (at least, the men I know) hate the thought of hurting women or making them cry. We’d rather prolong a clearly doomed relationship than end it, as long as it means we don’t have to witness you getting all upset.

But the Egg Lady, confident and direct to the end, didn’t let me get away with riding off into the sunset—in my ratty band van—with a big question mark hanging over our relationship’s head. I appreciated her honesty (honestly!) and responded in kind: I told her I wasn’t feeling it. She agreed, and just like that, it was over.

And you know what? It felt good, if a breakup can feel good. I liked that we were up-front and unambiguous about things. While the fadeaway might be appealing, I realized, it actually isn’t the easy way out—it just leads to weeks or months of torture for at least one party, and the inevitable happens at the end anyway. I learned something important from the end of the Egg Lady, and if my next lady doesn’t turn out to be Mrs. Jake, Mother of My Children, I’m going to make a clean break of it sooner rather than later. But hopefully, hopefully, I won’t have to….



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1 Comment

  1. Dangote

    April 26, 2014 at 12:34 am

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Exotic Resorts May Be the Best Bet for a Holiday



An exotic vacation usually means exploring a distant foreign country, whilst resorts are places
to go for rest, sport, or which offers a particular speciality, with many resorts being part of a
popular tourist destination or on or near a beach. If you are planning a vacation to an exotic
resort it can be a once-in-a-lifetime vacation to a far-flung destination or a luxurious place to
stay closer to home where you can enjoy some pampering.

Why stay at an exotic resort

Exotic resorts often offer all-inclusive vacation deals, along with other options that leave you
to plan your stay more precisely to your own wishes. These resorts offer excellent customer
service, superb accommodation and facilities and are usually to be found in beautiful settings.
Here are some of the best resorts from around the world for you to consider:

Four Seasons Resort, Seychelles
This famous resort has made many feel they have entered Paradise. The gentle ocean breeze
floats up the granite hillside and into your tree-house villa tucked away from the other guests
staying at the resort. This is perfect for encouraging you to relax, either by your private pool
or in the clear blue waters of Petite Anse Bay. Perfect for a romantic stay, there is a Spa for
pampering and the chance for a sunset meal on a deserted beach.

Some enjoy simply sitting on their balcony, gazing at the ocean between reading their book,
sketching or checking out international bookmakers and betting sites for the chance of a
flutter. If you want another type of adrenaline kick, check out the resorts excellent kayaking
and snorkelling facilities, which are recommended by nearly all who try it.

Anantara Resort, Hua Hin, Thailand

The ultimate tropical getaway, the Anantara Resort is an award-winning site modelled on a
traditional Thai village and is just three hours drive south of Bangkok. The location is where
Thai royalty and aristocrats have been holidaying for almost one-hundred years. Today, you
can visit historical attractions alongside theme parks and shops as well as vineyards and golf

The resort is set among 14 acres of lush tropical grounds with lotus-filled lagoons and
meandering pathways through exotic foliage, with many rooms overlooking the shoreline.
Each day, chefs prepare freshly caught local seafood alongside Thai specialities. The resort
also has an award-winning spa located within a lagoon-inspired oasis offering you the perfect
opportunity to relax.

Kurumba, Maldives

Kurumba is a well-established resort that opened almost 50 years ago and continues to offer
superb hospitality and contemporary facilities. There are seven speciality restaurants offering
cuisine from Italy to the Middle East as well as Thila, a restaurant which extends out over the
water which offers gourmet breakfasts and seafood dinners.

You can go snorkelling over the nearby reef full of colourful marine life or sign up to a dive
package as part of your stay, or just enjoy a private pool when staying at one of the spacious
villages. There are also deluxe beachfront bungalows offering direct beach access and views
of the crystal-clear waters.

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Healthcare Workers To Receive Coca-Cola-Funded PPEs From Nigerian Red Cross



Since the outbreak of the Coronavirus disease in Nigeria, our healthcare workers have continued to lead the charge against the disease. As the number of recorded COVID-19 cases in Nigeria began to increase, these healthcare workers rose to the challenge and fought tirelessly to protect the lives of Nigerians impacted by the disease.

Considering the risks these healthcare workers face, there is a crucial need for adequate protective equipment for these brave frontline workers.

Coca-Cola is excited that over 400,000 Personal Protective Equipment (PPEs) procured to support the intervention efforts of the Nigerian Government and other key stakeholders to fight the COVID 19 pandemic have arrived. We do believe that this will to provide succor to our healthcare workers on the frontlines

These PPEs comprise N95 respirators, surgical masks, examination gloves, face shields, medical gowns, no-touch thermometers, disposable aprons, heavy-duty rubber gloves, rubber boots, basic masks, disposable gloves, and hand sanitizers.

Since the first confirmed case of the disease in Nigeria reported in February, over 800 healthcare workers have contracted the disease. While Nigerians are encouraged to stay home where possible and practice social distancing, these healthcare workers are needed across the country in the continued fight against the disease.

This donation forms part of The Coca-Cola Foundation’s COVID-19 relief interventions in Nigeria. The Coca-Cola Foundation has provided $2.5m in grant to IFRC who seeks to directly impact the lives of 1.4 million people in Nigeria and across other countries in West and Central Africa under this partnership.

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Events in Nigeria

Taking Care of Tomorrow’s Leaders Today – The itel, Lagos Food Bank Example



Waking up to a special meal or choice gift is the best feeling ever. Hundreds of children in Mushin, mainland Lagos, had a filling taste of this feeling for the October 1 st celebrations. It’s an experience they will remember for a long time.

Being one of the most responsible corporate citizens around, celebrating Independence Day was always going to be on the radar for itel Mobile. To make this possible and memorable, the brand got to work in earnest. The focus of the work was picking the best way to commemorate the 60th independence anniversary of the most populous black nation on earth.

The efforts soon paid off through an impact-driven partnership with the Lagos Food Bank Initiative. With the arrangement, both partners considered a couple of activities capable of affecting communities positively and bringing smiles to people’s faces in Lagos. At the end of the exercise, taking care of children, the leaders of tomorrow, in the commercial city secured the highest votes.

With the decision, itel Mobile set about making this happen. Not surprisingly, the decision was
influenced by giving children the means to excel and prepare them for leadership and nation-building, for them to enjoy better life. For the good of their immediate family, community and the Nigerian society.

Idiko, Mushin, a suburb of mainland Lagos, was chosen as the benefiting community. And the partners strategically reached out to the beneficiaries, children and families, with gifts of love, care, happiness and support made possible by the itel Love Always On CSR initiative.

Over 1,000 families benefited from the gesture as well as 600 children, and each one of them received food packages to celebrate Nigeria’s 60 th Independence Day commemoration.

Speaking on the event and itel’s Love Always On CSR Initiative, Oke Umurhohwo, itel’s Marketing Manager said, ‘We wanted to mark this year’s Independence Day celebrations differently, and that is why we did something so momentous for our children. Children are the backbone of any longstanding community, and as such, we are proud to be able to give back and support them on their journey as leaders of tomorrow and for a better life.’

To meet the demands of the memorable event, 30 volunteers joined the customer-centric brand and the Lagos-based NGO to share smiles, and to convey just how important it is to love and take care of today’s children who will ultimately become leaders of tomorrow.

With the thoughtful activity, there are insights for everyone, from the government to citizens, on partnerships that are capable of making life better for children. Indeed, itel Mobile and the Lagos Food Bank Initiative have offered a great template on bringing this to reality.

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