“I’m A 32-Year-Old Teacher Attracted To A 14-Year-Old Girl, And I’m Scared” [Advice Needed]

This reader, who gave only his name – Michael – is very confused and scared of his own feelings and urges. We publish the letter he sent in

confused black manI’m a 32-year-old single male teacher from a small community near Abuja. I really don’t know what to do and if I should somehow to stop thinking those thoughts, or go see a doctor, or hand in myself to the police.

I have had few past relationships with girls my age, but they weren’t satisfied with my being too involved in school work and, of course, in the small amount of money I get.

I’m teaching small children, both boys and girls, aged 10-12. I never feel any unhealthy urges towards them, I swear by God.

However, when I see my neighbor’s 14-year-old daughter, I often start thinking improper thoughts about her. I feel attracted to her, both physically and emotionally. As I am on friendly terms with her parents, they trust me to help her in some school subjects. I don’t allow myself to make any sexual references when we’re alone in the room (her dad would often sit in the kitchen waiting for us to finish), but I also feel she’s interested in me, too. She’s so young and innocent, her sexuality has just started to blossom, of course she would be interested!

I feel so guilty for this. Should I change my place of residence? But I’ve grown fond of the kids I’m teaching, the accommodation is good… Or should I just wait until she comes of age and see if she wants a relationship with me? I’m too afraid and embarrassed to talk to our Pastor, or seek any medical help. Maybe someone with an unbiased opinion would give a suitable advice? Thank you.


  1. Did u listen to urself @all? 14yrs old, a kid like u rightly said, u are old enough to be her father, please wake up! Instead of paying attention and getting attracted to those organs growing on her body, start thinking of where they could land u when u torch them, think of ur reputation, ur job and ur life. Remember. Temptations only shows u what u stand to gain if u succeed but will neva bring to light the consequences that await ur failure. Please!!! She is still a minor and any attempt on her now is call an abuse. Only God alone can save u from urself. U don’t need a pastor what u need is ur prayer and constant meditation in the word of God (Galatians 5:16-18.)

  2. I would move for now. Once she is 18, contact her. She will be legally old enough to decide….and most likely…..will not return your affection at that age – so wake up.


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