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You don port? (Continuation of See Finish Syndrome) by Charlyboy

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A part 2 of Charly Boy’s first article on See Finish Syndrome. Check on it below..
When I published my piece about the death of desire in marriage/relationships (“See Finish Syndrome”) I didn’t expect the kind of feedback I got on that matter, hummm see gobe!
It was clear to me that the marriage institution in Nigeria is in a big problem. Ninety percent of the overwhelming phone calls and emails were from angry, lonely, disgruntled and confused wives. It was then it hit me that millions of homes and marriage relationships are going through a very bad patch, wives are growing very disenchanted with their husbands and their relationship. Before I did the piece (see finish) apart from experiencing it personally, I have heard and seen so much sadness in too many homes that made me swear and ever determined not to allow my marriage be caught by the “See Finish” bug.
From the mails and the phone calls I received, it was clear to me that many wives whilst still in their relationship, DON PORT. They have emotionally moved on engaging in hot sizzling extra-marital affair. The number is alarming, their reasons are as enlightening as it is revealing and I must add, I learnt quite a lot from all the sad stories I heard and read. Thank God for the opportunity, I will always share with my readers some of my personal experiences, trusting that in coming clean I will also learn from the mistake of others. Long story short, it is for me therapeutic.
Many wives these days “DON PORT”, alarming unconfirmed statistic show a large number who have grown disinterested in their marital sex, while husbands are busy reassuring themselves that their wives are still “The Good Girl” they married. Hummmmmm. For many who wrote in and I spoke to, swore that they never thought they were the “Type” that would ever cheat, but now they are far too deep into it and never want to stop. I begin to see a pattern in all of this confusion, if we don’t develop an accurate understanding of our wives; very soon, marriages will become old fashion because so many people are becoming disillusioned with the whole institution. In all of this, so many men are stuck with their societal beliefs about females that are grossly distorted and completely erroneous. Wahala dey my people.
The following is a letter from one of my numerous readers, since she doesn’t mind me sharing it with you, I don’t mind either…
Hello AreaFada,
I am writing this because there is a serious issue I’m struggling with, I desperately need to share it with someone. I felt I could open up to you and not be judged having followed you for long. I don’t mind if you use this mail on your several platforms, i believe i speak for many too.
I got married in the 90’s to perhaps the most wonderful man on earth and together, we have one of the best families anyone would wish to have. My husband and I are doing very well on our jobs and our kids are excellent both at home and at school.
We have no reason to suspect each other or anyone, there is nothing like lack of trust in this relationship. We live in each other’s body and so, privy to what the other is doing per time and we are very supportive of each other, at the same time, being each other’s worst critic because we always are on the look-out for areas to improve. We’re absolutely loyal and faithful to each other, nothing less than a 100%.
This is a summary of the home I had until 3years ago.
I met a man in the course of my job who came along with a new information and completely opened my eyes to a new feeling.
Ours wasn’t a chance meeting, we worked together on a project so we exchanged phone numbers and since then he has always called. That was the beginning o, he would not let me rest, calling and texting nice stuff almost by the minute. Before long, I started looking forward to this. We started bonding like you can never imagine. In a very short space of time, we became an item. This means spending more time with him……..at the expense of my family time.
I didn’t start sleeping with him o, we kept things off SEX Lane and surprisingly, he didn’t make a fuss. Of course, each time we saw, he wanted to get it on but as soon as I told him ‘No’, he just let me be without getting angry. At least not obviously.
This singular act, I think, is the clincher that made me very fond of him because back home, the only thing that caused quarrels between my gentleman husband and I was the fact that he made too much fuss each time I refused him sex, when I’m tired or not just in the mood. He gets angry to a convulsive state and I used to wonder if it was running away.
For more than a year of seeing each other, my now boyfriend (OMG, am I writing this?), asked for sex and I felt obliged. He had been very understanding, so why don’t I do him this honors. So I agreed. He was so gentle and alluring, handled me the way no man had ever done me before. I felt like a woman, perhaps for the very first time, allowing me experience orgasm before him, Wow, is this heaven or what? After which he gave me my 1st bath as an adult. I had never seen that before. It’s a season of firsts for me and I was loving every second of it,
Please pardon me, I crave your indulgence, I needed to open this up to someone and I’m glad I found your platform. Thank you. Just hear me out, that’s all I ask.
I no longer have time for anybody and anything else. I get infuriated by the smallest things, making mountains out of moll hills. Any small thing, I resign to my basement and ask that no one disturbs me. My basement, which hitherto was a dungeon of not-frequently-used items in the house, is now my get-away, to be alone with my lover, who incidentally is also married. My loyalty to my family is brutally divided or is it totally eroded? My husband has been and remains a good man, i doubt if he ever has been unfaithful to me in the close to twenty years of our marriage and I know he doesn’t deserve this. At least, one good turn they say….
I know, I have a feeling this is bad, very bad, but I’m enjoying this new information. Imagine, it’s been well over two years since we started sleeping with each other and I can’t even find a word for the kind of sex we share. My boyfriend just knows how to keep it ever new and fresh, every single time.
The strange thing is my husband doesn’t even have a clue I’ve been cheating. Even if the thought crosses his mind, he would probably think something is wrong with him ‘upstairs’ for thinking such thoughts. AreaFada, please don’t advise me to stop o, just counsel me on the best way you think I can keep the groove on without breaking eggs…how to have the best of my now two worlds.
My happiness is very important, am sexually alive with my boyfriend.
Thank you for your time, may God bless you.

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National News

Pretty Lady Who Recently Got Married Dies During Child Birth

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A beautiful Ghanaian lady simply known as Nadia has lost her during childbirth months after tying the knot in a glamorous wedding ceremony earlier this year.

Ghanaian social media activist, Inusah Kate Gyamfua broke the sad news via his personal Facebook page.

It was learnt that the baby survived and has been kept in an incubator.

Hundreds of comments and reactions poured in over the post as many social media users were shocked by the news of such a fresh marriage ending in an abrupt sorrowful end.

Gyamfua shared her photo with the caption;

Married 2020.
Died 2020💔
Baby in incubator
Hmmmm…. 2020💔😭
Such a Painful Death😭😭😭😭😭
RIP NADIA😭😭😭😭😭😭

See the post below;

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“Marrying Adesua is the second best decision I made in my adult life” – Banky W

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Banky W and Adesua Etomi-Wellington are marking their third wedding anniversary today and the couple left sweet posts on Instagram.

The singer shared a video from their wedding and spoke of their love journey.

He wrote:

3 years ago, Susu and I made the decision to love each other forever. But the only reason forever is even possible, is because we made the decision to make God our foundation. And while a foundation is the part of the house that people don’t see, it’s by far the most important.

Because you can fix cracks in the walls, refurbish the rooms and repaint the halls, but you can’t get the foundation wrong if you want any chance of the house standing at all. The structural integrity of a house requires a foundation that is built to last.

I recently heard a Pastor say that love can’t keep a marriage going… he said it takes God and commitment. I think maybe he had a bit of a misunderstanding of what love really means. Because… well, God IS love. And love is commitment. Without both, it certainly isn’t love and it definitely won’t work. People sometimes think Susu led me to God. But it’s not true. God led me to Susu. And He has kept us through it all.

Marrying @adesuaetomi is the 2nd best decision I made in my adult life. The best was re-dedicating my life to Christ.

Susu, I am thankful for you, and grateful to you. You are everything I want and much more than I deserve. You mean the world to me and I intend to spend the rest of my life proving it. I love you now more than ever.
3 years down, I’m looking forward to forever.

I love you. Happy Anniversary Shuga.

#BAAD2017 #BAAD2020 #BAADforever

“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud…It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
– 1 Cor 13:4..8

“… and the rains descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.”
– Matt 7:26

Adesua shared the same video on Instagram and told Banky that apart from Jesus, he is the light of her life.

She wrote:

Three years? Seems like yesterday. Seems like forever.
Three years with my bestie.
Everyone knows you’re my husband but today I want to thank you for being my best friend.
The most attentive, loving, funny, caring, inspiring friend I have ever had.
I thought I knew how to love but omo, you have schooled me.
I never knew it was possible to be with someone this long and not have it be riddled with tons of fights. I’m glad for our low voiced intense conversations. Lol
You don’t make me feel crazy, I don’t have to yell before I’m heard. I don’t have to worry. I don’t second guess how you feel about me. I know I’m valued, as I should be.
Thank you bubz, for just being a correct human being. For the heart that you have. For being quick to be sorry when you’re wrong (whispers…even when you’re not. Lol) (I do the same sha)
For not putting your ego before us. For giving me a home that’s my safe haven. I’m grateful for the home we have built. I always look forward to coming home and it takes a lot to even get me out of the house. Lol.
God has done the most marvellous things these past 3 years. May he continue to be the 3rd cord in this threefold cord. As long as he lives and he shields and we keep him part of our lives, we will never be easily broken.
Apart from Jesus, you are def the light of my life.
May that light continue to shine brighter and brighter.
You, my darling are a force to be reckoned with and the world will remember your name.
@bankywellington I love you doesn’t seem to suffice anymore but I’ll say it anyway. I love you with every fibre of my being. Let’s do this till we’re old and grey and maybe in heaven too?
#BAADFOREVER

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Fans Of Yemi Alade Mocks Tiwa Savage For Not Making Grammy Awards Nominees

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Fans of Yemi Alade mocks Tiwa Savage for not making Grammy Awards nominees.

A Twitter page @YemiNews wrote;

“The moment Tiwa savage went to submit sulia album for world best album at the #Grammys”

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