Who Should I Marry?

I am 29 years old. I need your candid advice in terms of my relationship.

Young Woman Thinking

I used to date a black guy who I fell in love with but he broke up with me because he said I was a bit stubborn and he thinks I’m self centered. I pleaded with him not to end the relationship, even family members intervened all to no avail. He still ended it and I was really heartbroken. He has got three kids (white kids) and he is still single.

During our breakup I met a 34 year old white guy who I started dating. This guy is nice, caring and he loves me but he said he is not ready to get married yet but we can have babies together. Now the black guy whom I’m still in love with is back and asking for a new beginning all over again. He wants us to settle down together.

My problem is I’m so confused about him because of the way he acted. I’m still in love with him not minding the fact that he has kids already but I still have the white guy who I am dating but I don’t love him. I don’t know who to settle with for life.


  1. Marry with dat black man and settle but laeve dat white man bcos he has told you dat he would not marry but just to born kid for him

  2. I'm john unegbu my advic is love is an emotional filing not phisical emotional pain allso kill's more faster than bullet so nothing like settledown with whom you do not love

    I am john unegbu my advice is love is an emotional filling and emotional pain allso kill’s more faster than bullet so nothing like settledown with whom u do not love

  3. Left to me, I will advice you to pray and seek Gods response. but for any relationship to yield positive result, love has to play an important role. You don’t love the white guy and he is not yet ready for marriage but the black guy, has given birth to kids. to me its a sign of marriage. So like I said initially, you need Gods response. Cos from my own perspective, non of them is meant for you.

  4. D black guy whom u luv, jst 4get d past n move on since he is ready 2 settle down wit u n d white guy whom u dnt luv bt u r both dating is nt ready 2 settle down bt jst 2 av kids wit u. Wat if afta havin d kids he want n den work out of ur lyf. N as 4 d black guys kids jst take dem as urs n move on.Do take care

  5. My dear girl, don’t act as one who knows not what she wants. If you don’t love a man, you have no business with him. Two can not work together unless they agree. A man with 3 kids and no wife is surely irresponsible. He is uding you. Thats why he doesn’t want marriage. I think he is missing you pussy. Thats why he has come knocking. None of them is for you. Love grows if you put interest. Create interest in the white guy may be you can love him. Best of luck.

    • You are God sent, this is the only candid and reasonable advice I have seen and good one for you, pls embrace it and move on, none of them are for you period. Stay blessed.

  6. The white guy people think he doesn’t love you and d black guy u are inlove with how are you sure he loves you now?he may wants to keep sleeping with you you need to be convince he is real.Tell him to start introduction preparation with you if he is serious about settling down with you,he needs to come see your people even if the marriage won’t happen so soon that’s to know if he is serious as some guys don’t like to pass tru he rigourous of chasing another lady when they can easily lie to their ex that will consider them within a day.

  7. The black man with 3 kids are the kids for u? Then the black man must be heartless bc even after ur family intervened he still refused…now he has 3 kids. …He is very irresponsible. ..He should go n settle with his baby mamas…next when u are married he will say he doesn’t want more kids from u…would u want that?whit people always takes things one step at a time..when it’s right believe me he will propose but that black guy is a no no for me .

  8. find.love.somewhere.else.dnt.marry.either.of.them.and.never.choose.the.better.guy,choose.the.guy.that.wil.make.you.a.better.woman

  9. Olatunji you make sense jare,she needs to put the black guy love to test.You see that’s why whites play the best of love they will never lie to you they will say their mind.The deceit the white guy refused to play on her is what the black guy come back to play on her.How could a guy dumped a lady cuz she is self centered?not that she can’t cool?not that she exhibit serious bad character that pose a threat to marriage,she is not a cheat so why?girl watch ur back don’t just believe him if age isn’t on ur side let his parents visit urs then she will find it dificult to bring his parents on deceit.

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  11. Hi dear, love is a feelings from the bottomless part of the heart, none of this guy is meant for u, dating a white man who just want kids n not ready for marriage n getting married to an irresponsible man who dumped u, when u needed him, despite the famil

    Hi dear, love is a feelings from the bottomless part of the heart, none of this guy is meant for u, dating a white man who just want kids n not ready for marriage n getting married to an irresponsible man who dumped u, when u needed him, despite the family intervention. Dat black guy has no respect for u n i dont think he loves u as u do, i would advice u to move ahead with someone else apart from those two, cos they dont have a good future for u, u are still very young, u can still find ur own husband out there, choose wisely dear n take good care of ursef, also pray to God, he will meet u at the appointed time.Rossy…

  12. My. Dear b4 u enter into marriage u need to pray hard to get God approval, bcos s a life time tin. In human perceptive d two guys are not meant 4 u, d white guy just told u his mind and u stil wnt to put head, and u said u don’t care abt d black guy having 3 kids fine, how are u sure he s back for good, some guys are beast they can go to d extend of seeing ur parent and u will think they are serious but just to get what they want and leave ur life in misery, so my dear sister u still have choice don’t loose hope just be strong in prayers God will surely intervene in ur case

  13. Dear..u are still young and u can always find a person who can…truly love u..don waste ur life… I am also a woman and understand ur feelings…men don think like us…for them love is like a passing cloud..this black guy has left u before..after married and giving a child he will dump u…and why should u take care his kids…u are not the mum…if he loves u..first place he will not left u…u have to make a wise and smart choice..I know its will be painful to live the person we love…only time will heal ur pain..

  14. pls choose none of dem… An advice 4rm some1 who have bin tru something like this, i am happy 2day with the best man on earth let go of them both and you will surely find that right person.

  15. Dear,u said u lov d black guy buh he left u despite all plead 4rm u n ur family n he’s even got 3 kids dat r not urs n he’s com begging u 2 come bck aftr toying wif ur feeling n hurting u;he’s not worth goin bck 2.And d white guy loves u buh he’s not ready 4 marriage @ 34 buh only 2 av kids wif u,dat should mak u knw he’s also d un serious type dat has no gud thn 2 offer u in ur relationship dan 2 make u baby producing machine;he’s not worth going 4 2 dearie. So,my own candid advice 2 u is 2 b prayerful 4 right guy 2 com asap cos non of d white n black guys u said is worth aving u @ all cos dey only wanna eat n run n make u useless . And pls work on ur temper n don’t b self-centred. God bless u .


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