Step one: Set some relationship goals
One of the quickest routes to relationship reconnection is setting a mutual goal – one that you can strive for as a couple. But we suggest going even further and making the goals about your relationship itself. Sit down together (try going to a cafe or quiet bar rather than staying at home) and think about what you would like to see happen.
Do you want to have more fun together? Talk the way you used to at the beginning of your relationship? Go out more? Expand your social circle? Whatever you decide, write it down. This can be your guide going forward for how to really improve your life together – in a way that works for both of you.
Step two: Talk about what’s working – and what isn’t
If you want to get your relationship back on track, you’re going to have to talk about it. Make a point of being honest about what is working and what could use some improvement. Agree to continue doing the things that bring you closer (and ideally do them even more) and make an effort to change what causes friction or stress.
Be gentle and listen to each other. This isn’t the time to take jabs at one another. You’re in this together to build a stronger connection and improve what you have together. If you’ve been frustrated with doing all the housework, explain how it makes you feel (tired and like you aren’t working as a team). If he is concerned with your lack of interest in having fun together, take it in stride and use it to spur you on to make your bond even better.
Step three: Bring back that loving feeling
A lackluster love connection doesn’t have to be the end of the line. Most couples get into ruts or hit snags so feeling a bit out of touch is normal. The key to bringing that love back is to refocus your attention on the positive. Stress, too many responsibilities and financial strain can cause couples to start turning against each other, rather than working as a team. Don’t let this happen to you.
Focus on what you love about your partner and think back to loving memories you can draw on when you feel less than loving. The more loving thoughts you conjure up, the easier it will be to reconnect and start to boost your connection.