When you reflect on a few of your major life goals, what do you notice? Do they consist of a better paying job, landing your dream career or do they typically revolve around your love life and having a meaningful relationship? Whatever our goals may be, sometimes they aren’t always easy to achieve. We often have to overcome certain obstacles in order to obtain what we really want. There are usually personal challenges, or other people’s agendas that stand in the way of our happiness and complete relationship satisfaction. Those things are distractions and prevent us from experiencing true joy in our marriages. If love, peace and joy are major priorities for our unions, it is important that we be aware of the major distractions that affect our marriages.
1. Selfishness. Too many of us are caught up in our own selfish wants and it diverts the attention away from our partners. Marriage is about putting our spouse first and making sure their needs are met before our own. We must remember that we are not in a relationship by ourselves; marriage is about giving more than we take.
2. Job-Related Stress. The stress that we allow to come home and dwell with us will eventually kill our marriage if it isn’t stopped. The pressure eats away at us causing frustration and resentment that we bring home and share with our partners. It affects our communication, confidence and overall health. When we are stressed by our job, it’s best to allow our spouse to support us, be that shoulder we need to lean on and that listening ear; instead of a punching bag to release on.
3. Other people or a grass is greener mentality. Exes on Facebook who make us feel good, a cute new friendly coworker who shows us a little bit of attention, and those not so real friends who are quick to tell us to walk away from a relationship when there is a small challenge are all major disturbances. The silver lining with this one is that we are still in control. Staying focused on the positives in our marriage leaves little room left for these other diversions.
4. Self-Doubt and Self-Consciousness. Being worried about things like the baby weight we’re struggling to get rid of will result in our not feeling attractive or appealing to our mate. This will ultimately make us shy away from intimate experiences with our spouse. Whenever we feel inadequate we must take action. So if it’s weight let’s work at losing it and changing our diet. But we must keep in mind, we are as sexy as we feel and we must continue to do the things that make us feel good about ourselves.
5. Money or lack of money. Money makes people lose sight of what’s most important. Many couples tend to fight over money, not be completely honest about money and have a secret “just-in-case” account which shows a lack of trust for the other partner. We cannot allow money to have dominion over our relationships. If there is less of it, we have to get creative and be honest and smart with our decisions. But love, health and joy should outweigh money any day.
Because our marriages are so fragile today, it is crucial that we remain aware of the distractions that threaten to destroy our unions. Acknowledging the challenge definitely takes some of its power away. I challenge all the couples reading this post, to fight back. With a strong desire and partnership we can overcome any of the above distractions.