Divorce is like a freight train, experts say. There are always signals but you may not understand them.
With the divorce rate rising day by day, it’s important to nurture your relationship in order to safeguard your marriage against divorce. But how do you know if you are headed that way?The following signs are indicative that your marriage is about to crumble.
1. A fall off in frequency and quality of intimacy
“There is a definite lack of interest in sex and they don’t communicate about it and don’t do anything about it,” says Cardi. “Or they are in very different places on it. Basically, the trigger is that sex is not working and hasn’t worked in a while.”
2. Fighting or bickering more frequently than in the past: According to a family and divorce attorney-mediator in New York, N.Y., the arguments are redundant and never get resolved. “It’s about the same topic over and over again,” she said. “You are arguing over the same issue and it increases in frequency. And there is no resolution. It doesn’t go anywhere.” Puhn says at the bottom of this and most relationship problems is communication.
3. Compromising no more: Understanding is a very important factor in every relationship. You need to understand each other’s needs and work accordingly. At times to make your partner happy, you might have to compromise or let go of something that is not as important as your love. As this fades away so does the hope that the marriage will survive.
4. Over-scheduling commitments and/or spending lots of time on the computer or Blackberry: Less face-to-face time, when it is intentional on one or both spouses parts, is strong indicator that a marriage is in jeopardy. There’s a certain amount of work that a person has to do but if you see it’s becoming more and more and more, and it continues to increase, especially over the holidays, that’s called distancing.
5. No repair: You try to repair the relationship and the marriage and want to go back to the time when sparks flew. But if you are being stonewalled by your partner and his lack of willingness to engage in conversation, then the likelihood of divorce is high.
6. Change in the manner in which a spouse handles his or her money: From a lawyer’s perspective, according to Cardi, the shifting around of accounts is far more telling than a spouse may let on. If one of the spouse is moving money, that’s a sign to that he’s already ready to get out of the marriage and move onto the divorce stage.
7. Daydreaming about being single or with someone other than your spouse: According to Puhn, this is the most serious sign of all because daydreaming often happens right before the divorce.
8. Spending time together: After marriage, each partner is often busy with their own schedules, but finding time for each other and spending time together is what makes all the difference. When you stop prioritising each other over friends and others and start moving in separate orbits, then it’s a sign of serious trouble.
The list can go on and on, but often times varies from couple to couple. In order to stay connected, marriage requires a lot of devotion and attention.