If anyone or anything can come between you and your partner, by definition, your relationship is “shakable”. What does it mean to have a shakable relationship? It’s too fragile to withstand the next challenge that will come your way.
A fundamental piece of creating an unshakable love is coming together as a team with your partner. Most people think of a team as “teamwork”, meaning “You do this, and I do that, and together we get everything done.” Sweetie, that’s not the kind of team I’m talking about!
Think of it more like a sports team. If you were on the field playing a sport as part of a team and one of your teammates dropped the ball, you wouldn’t stop in the middle of the game with your hands on your hips and say “Hey, you’re going to screw this up for everybody! What’s wrong with you? You should have done it like this instead!”
No, you just pick up the ball and run with it! That’s true team spirit. It’s when the other person’s problems are your problems and their goals are your goals! That’s the kind of team it takes to create an unshakable love — where nothing and nobody can come between the two of you.
But that’s not quite the reality today, is it? Look around and you will see so much nit-picking, criticizing, and judging between partners. In fact, I will go so far as to say that it has become socially acceptable to bad-mouth your partner to friends and family as a way of connecting and gaining compassion from others; even as a way to joke and lighten the mood.
Well, if you are in a relationship like that, that is not the formula for creating an unshakable love! Any relationship where one or both partners speak badly about the other partner or tear them down is a fragile relationship that can’t withstand the next challenge that’s coming down the road, whether that be a financial crisis, an ailing parent, loss of a job, or a health crisis. These big stressors are just a part of life.
So let me ask you: when that next stressor finds you, will you come together as a team? Will you face it and triumph together, coming out stronger and even closer on the other side? Or will you fall into blame and unravel under the pressure until your relationship falls apart?
The fundamental key to divorce-proofing your relationship is to create an indivisible alignment with your partner where nothing and nobody can come between you. So how do you do this?
You want to be your partner’s #1, right? The most important thing in their world? More important than their work, other family members, and everything else? Well, you have to give it to get it, sweetie! And it begins by taking a vow to never speak badly about your partner to anyone ever again!
If you have an issue with your partner, you either bring it directly to them, or you come to a coach or supportive community that can give you the tools and strategies to shift the dynamics in your relationship and create the love that you want to have! But you do not just b*tch and moan about your partner to others. Every time you do that, you are tearing apart the fibers that hold your relationship together and you are shooting yourself in the foot.