Ask Jay: She Wants To Know How Much I Earn. What Should I Do?

Dear Jay,

I need advice on the following:

1. My lady is insisting that her husband to be must be richer or earn more than her.

2. That the responsibilities must be 80-20%.

3. Insisting on knowing what i earn. What’s your take on these. Thanks.

O.B

Dear O.B,

Thank you for your enquiry. On the first hand, there’s nothing wrong with your woman wanting to make sure you’re financially able to handle marriage.
However, the idea of dictating who must be richer, how the responsibilities must be shared and wanting to know how much you earn is very wrong. I suggest you discuss this issue with thoroughly with her. There’s nothing wrong with you being richer but what if it doesn’t work out that way? Does it mean she’ll leave you?
I believe that the sharing of responsibilities “80%-20%” is unfair. A couple should be partners and should be willing to help each other whenever it is necessary and not according to a formula.
Also, what you earn is none of her business. It is your money and you worked for it. It should be your choice to tell her, if you want to, and not by compulsion. Above all, marriage is about being with someone who will stand by you no matter what. This lady in question sounds like someone who just wants to relax and let you spend all your money to cater for her. Do you think she’ll stand by you if anything goes wrong? I suggest you think on this. I wish you the very best.

Sincerely,
Jay…

If you have a dilemma and you want to share, send an email to ‘Jola Sotubo at [email protected].

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