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How to Tell If Your Relationship Is Really in Trouble

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marriage-and-money

All marriages have problems: He gives you silent treatment instead of talking when he’s upset; you pay more attention to the kids’ school art projects than to the details of his day; neither of you can agree on the fate of Peggy after leaving Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce on Mad Men.

This, you tell yourself, is just what happens after so many years together, right? Or…not right? Because, sure, you’re not fighting, and nobody’s having an affair. But at the same time, what if dangerous issues are brewing? How can you are you supposed to know? When it comes in your own thoughts and actions—that may signal a crisis to come.

1) You’re Doing a Lot of Cost-Benefit Analyses. Perhaps this is you. While walking home from work, you have a little conversation with yourself: “I make dinner every night, plus, I said sorry when he freaked about organic toothpaste—even though I love organic toothpaste and it’s not too expensive. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m usually the first apologize…and the first to stay home with the kids at night. I work so hard. And what am I getting in return? A hug before bed? The occasional bunch of flowers?” What you’re doing here is a cost-benefit analysis. Corporations do this all the time. A company that makes, say, skinny jeans, compares the energy, money and time all of its departments put into producing them with the energy, money and time it gets out of selling them, to figure out if it should keep manufacturing pants—in a style that horrifies short, round women all over the world—or just stop. People also use this technique to make decisions. “At the beginning of the relationship,” says Doherty, “this kind of accounting is natural and appropriate [for couples] deciding whether or not to commit.”

2) You’re Conducting an Imaginary Marriage!  Just to clarify, an imaginary marriage is not an imaginary affair, complete with dreams of secret rendezvous in obscure motels. It’s a more subtle and, at times, harder-to-recognize fantasy, says Doherty. What to look for? You sitting at your desk, watching Jeremy from production post yet another blissful photo of his wife and himself on Facebook—this time of their trip to Napa for her birthday. A thought crosses your mind: “Jeremy is so much more considerate than my husband.” Pretty soon, you make the leap to thinking things like: “If I were married to Jeremy, I’d never spend another of holiday at home watching parades on TV.” In your reveries, you tell yourself you’d go to Paris with him. You’d come home at night to him in the kitchen making veal cordon bleu.

The two of you would never argue about the cost of non-generic toilet paper or give each other lectures on how many squares you’re allowed to use. You’ve lost interest in you husband taking you to Paris or posting photos of you on Facebook. You’re not ready to leave him in reality, but in the vast and unchecked world of your mind, you’re looking for Mr. Anybody Else.

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Nigerian & Jamaica Celebrates 50 Years Of Diplomatic Relations With Direct Flights to Jamaica

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As the festive season approaches, travel enthusiasts and lovers of fun, relaxation or  adventure, will have a chance to create history, by being part of the first direct charter flights from Lagos, Nigeria to Montego Bay, Jamaica. The flights are in celebration of 50 years of diplomatic relations between Nigeria and Jamaica. Both countries have worked hard to promote culture, education, industrial and economic development, at different levels.

The first flight will leave Lagos on 21 December and return on 28 December 2020. A second rotation will take place from 30 December to 6 January 2021. Each flight will last for just over 11 hours and relieves the traveler of the stress of securing transit visas via Europe or the US and the uncertainties associated with multiple connections.

The flights are being coordinated by the Jamaican High Commission in Abuja and Nigerians Travel Too, a leading tour operator based in Lagos and the UK. They are also a reflection of the creative fusion of the Nigerian and Jamaican history and culture, which both partners have dubbed the Nai-Jamaica Project. A dedicated website www.nai-jamaica.com has been launched, to showcase the range of travel and business opportunities that are available.


In tandem with the upcoming flights, handcrafted holiday experiences and multiple travel packages have been designed with each visitor in mind. The main items covered include: flight tickets, accommodation, airport transfers, tours and meals among others. [Participating tour operators are also offering free visa processing and support].

Nigeria’s trusted international carrier, Air Peace, will facilitate each trip with its elegant Boeing 777-300ER aircraft. Passengers will be able to travel in style and comfort across the First, Business and Economy Class cabins that are on offer at unbeatable rates.

Jamaica’s High Commissioner to Nigeria, HE Esmond Reid, has hailed the direct flights as, “An historic and unique opportunity, as part of our 50th anniversary celebrations, to reconnect with family and friends from Nigeria, Jamaica, the Caribbean and other parts of the world, in a world class tourist destination”.


Jamaica has won many international travel and tourism awards and has developed special COVID-19 protocols for the tourism sector. These are designed to protect and enhance the tourism experience for visitors and workers in the industry, in the face of the global pandemic.

Widely recognized as the “heartbeat of the world” and the land of Reggae Music, Jamaica is home to various tourist attractions and cultural icons such as Bob Marley, Marcus Garvey and Usain Bolt.

Visitors can never get enough of the opportunities for rafting, diving, golf, tennis, fishing, nature walks or horseback riding, among other exciting activities that are available in Jamaica. Places like the Abeokuta Nature Park and the Calabar High School also add special significance for visitors from Nigeria.

There will be nowhere else like Jamaica this Christmas and New Year. You can’t afford to miss this awesome Nai-jamaica experience!!!

Tickets are selling like hot cakes. Bookings will close on 20 November to guarantee visa processing, so don’t delay.

For more information on travel, tours and packages visit:
www.nai-jamaica.com
IG; @nigerianstraveltoo

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‘I Tested Positive To HIV After Gang Raped By 3 Men – Chef Ayomide

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‘I Tested Positive To HIV After Being Gang Raped By 3 Men For Being Gay’ – Chef Ayomide
Ayomide and his lover

Ayomide and his lover

Nigerian chef, Ayomide Idowu, who is also a male rape survivor, has taken to his Instagram page to tell his story.

The openly gay young man recalled how he was allegedly gang raped by 3 hoodlums at the age of 19 because of his sexuality and how he eventually contracted HIV.

Ayomide revealed his life never remained the same as he was also arrested and victimized by the police.

In his words;

“I could remember last 5years ago
What I pass through from 3 hoodlums
I was thoroughly beaten and gang-raped
All because I’m Gay…they took advantage of me
I was 19years old boy then, I suffered humiliation
Arbitrary arrest from police,inhuman degrading treatment,I lost my precious Home at the age of 19years..no parents no family…it really hurts to be an orphan….after I lost my virginity from the raped….having unprotected sex from those hoodlums I WAS TESTED POSITIVE….being positive my mood changed…I started my medication and think less…I stay away from smoking and alcohol…I eat Good fruits and vegetables…thanks to God I’m a testifier now
I’m undetectable my CD4 850 viral load 10
It really worth testimony 🙏🤦im looking healthy and stunning…being HIV positive is not the end of life…it reveals the other side of you…my aims of sharing my life threatening story as an orphan,so that people can learn from this…. 5years living positively”

Read Also: GAYS are one of the most influential & successful people in Nigeria — Chef Ayomide

See his post below:

The gay activist’s post

The gay activist’s post

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Actress Osas Ighodaro Celebrates Her 30th Birthday With Emotional Post

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Actress Osas Ighodaro Celebrates Her 30th Birthday With Emotional Post
Osas Ighodaro

Osas Ighodaro

Nigerian actress, Osas Ighodaro penned an emotional note via Instagram as she clocked 30-years-old on Monday.

To mark her birthday, the single mother of one posted a monochrome photo of herself as she wished for people to continue praying for those who lost their lives during these turbulent period.

Ighodaro wrote;

“Thank God for another year. Happy Birthday to me. If you know me, you know I absolutely love birthdays but this year it certainly hits different. I’m overwhelming grateful for life and thankful to God to be able to see another birthday bc unfortunately many haven’t and won’t have that opportunity.

I am hopeful for better days for myself, those that I love and hold dear and most certainly for my country Nigeria. I pray for unity, peace, harmony and togetherness. We all deserve it.

My birthday wish is to please continue to pray for those innocent lives lost. Please remain hopeful and focused because I truly believe better days are soon ahead by God’s grace.

Peace, Love and Blessings.”

See her post below:

The actress’ post

The actress’ post

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