Just as men sometimes tell their buddies the gory details of their sex lives, women will often make their relationships the focal point of their conversations on girls’ night out.
Lucky for you, I have turned this potentially terrifying prospect to your advantage. Below are 10 of the most common mistakes men make during sex, taken directly from the ladies’ mouths, and how to fix them. So read on and make sure that you aren’t turning your woman off without even realizing it.
1- Not setting the scene
I realize that you aren’t necessarily a set designer, but seducing your woman will be a heck of a lot easier if your pad provides her with a comfortable and inviting atmosphere. That means no dirty laundry or empty pizza boxes on the floor, and no strange house guests on your couch.
So, tidy up a bit, dim the lights, put on some nice mood music, and pour her a glass of wine. Just make sure not to go overboard and turn your place into a Bond-like sex haven, with curtains that close with a remote, strategically angled lighting, and a mini-bar complete with ice machine built into the wall, or she will bolt before you can offer her a martini.
2- Skipping foreplay all the time
At one time or another, we’ve all experienced a moment so passionate that wasting time on foreplay was unthinkable — and if you haven’t yet, you should. However, getting caught up in the heat of the moment is quite different from pouncing on her out of nowhere, and cutting straight to the chase on a regular basis.
Sometimes, she needs a little appetizer before the main course. Something as simple as a lustful caress, a sensual kiss or a suggestive whisper in her ear, followed by a come-hither look, can mean the difference between a night she will never forget and one she will want to forget as soon as possible.
3- Moving too fast
You practiced restraint during dinner when she was sitting across from you in that low-cut dress, giving you those eyes and flashing you that smile. You practiced restraint in the car on the way to your place, as her dress was hiking up ever so slightly, showing off her toned thighs. You even controlled yourself while you were sitting next to one another on your couch, and she was absent-mindedly touching your knee, and looking away whenever you caught her giving you that look. So, why blow it in bed?
Practicing restraint in bed will only get her hotter, making her want you even more, and will inevitably lead to a mind-blowing sexual experience for both of you. So learn to pace yourself and enjoy everything the moment has to offer. Trust me, you’ll both be happy you did.
Do you pay enough attention to her body language or disrespect her without meaning to?
4- Ignoring her body language
Although a woman may initially be too shy to tell you exactly what she wants in bed, her body language will give her away. It is up to you to pay attention to her telltale signs until she is comfortable enough with you to really open up verbally. So don’t treat her like a blow-up doll and have your way with her (unless, of course, she has specifically asked you to do so).
Try to notice how she responds to your touch and react accordingly. If you sense that she is tensing up when you touch her or try to move her body in a certain way, it could be that you are being too rough or that she is ticklish, so be more gentle. If, on the other hand, she seems completely unaffected by your caresses, it’s time to turn up the volume and shake things up a bit.
5- Wanting to try too many things at once
Most women have an adventurous side and are willing to try new things in bed once they trust their lover enough. But, if you ever want her to reach that point with you, the last thing you should do is force the issue too soon into the relationship. Doing so may blow your chances of her ever considering the idea again.
Try to introduce new positions and reveal fantasies slowly but surely, starting with the tamer requests and working your way up to the racier ones. This way, there’s no telling how far you can go.
6- Disrespecting her
Despite what you see in porno movies and, to a lesser extent, on MTV, women don’t particularly want to be disrespected in bed. Although they might go along with it to please you at first, doing so may eventually cause them to feel uncomfortable, and even resentful.
So make sure that before you call her any derogatory names, engage in rough play or ejaculate on her, that you have her wholehearted consent. If you are really into these sorts of things, make sure that you’re with a woman who is too, and be sure to run your fantasies by her beforehand to gauge her reactions, and not just spring them on her in bed where she may not quite know how to react.
Don’t assume she’s satisfied.
7- Being too bossy
While communicating your preferences is important, so is going with the flow and doing what feels right. So, don’t bark out orders like a drill sergeant and expect her to comply without question. Sex is supposed to be fun and free, not unpleasant and stressful.
Rather than being clinical with directions, try soft-spoken requests, communicating your desires with your eyes (for romantics only), or gently moving her body into the appropriately accommodating position and seeing her reaction. Such approaches will yield much more favorable results than the commando approach.
8- Forgetting her erogenous zones
The fact that you’re probably fascinated with a nice pair of knockers practically ensures that you will rarely forget to fondle a woman’s breasts during sex. Unfortunately, it is easy to forget that a woman’s body is full of less obvious erogenous zones.
Next time you’re in bed with your woman, try kissing her collar bone, where her shoulder meets her neck, gently running your fingers along her back, caressing and kissing her hips, or teasing the soles of her feet. Doing so will surely give her goose bumps and drive her crazy, and she will undoubtedly want to please you in return.
9- Assuming she’s satisfied
Just because you got off, that doesn’t mean that she’s satisfied. Remember that there is another person there with you who would also like to bask in that afterglow. At least make an effort to please her.
Look at it this way: If she is just as satisfied as you, she will likely be too spent for “pillow talk” and want to take a nap with you. So, get to it.
10- Bailing afterwards
While wanting to hit the hay after great sex is perfectly understandable, and often the natural thing to do, taking off on a woman after having sex with her is among the most rotten things a guy can do. Not only do you look like a jerk, but just think about how she’s left feeling.
If you can’t stand a woman enough to spend the night with her and not bail on her before sunrise, then you’ll have to deal with the aftermath (she’ll tell all her friends). At least spend 30 minutes talking to her before you split. Or, you can always opt to sleep with a chick you could bear looking at after you ejaculate.
Be an amazing lover
If you can steer clear of the aforementioned behavior, and try to follow my handy advice instead, you are headed toward being the kind of lover that attracts women like magnets and keeps them coming back for more. That is what you want, isn’t it?