Toni Payne is the ex-wife of popular artiste fondly called 9ice. Though blessed with a son, Zion, their marriage crashed after 20 months talks about her failed marriage and shares her marital plan in a recent interview.
A diva, artiste manager and a publicist, she says in this interview that she wouldn’t mind remarrying if the right man comes.
Many know you as the former wife of 9ice and the mother of Zion, his only son, but how do you see yourself?
Yes, they are right. I have a son known as Zion. I see myself as a diva and an entrepreneur.
Can you reach out to ladies whose marriages are not working even after being submissive?
Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured. That is my own philosophy. You are meant to enjoy your marriage. If you are in a marriage and you are not enjoying it, why are you there?
Should they leave their kids?
Oh well, if your kids are seeing you unhappy, that means you are raising kids that are not going to be happy adults. When your marriage is not working, maybe there is no communication. A lot of times, men are busy doing their thing and women are busy accepting it because they want to be submissive. T
alk to your man and tell him what he is doing to you that you frown at. When he refuses to change, then check yourself; you are doing something that he doesn’t like and he just keeps seeing you do that.
Communication is key. I think there are lots of marriages that are not sweet. It is because the communication is not there. I always say if you want to be married to somebody in life, he should be your husband; you, his wife, mistress, girlfriend, sugar mummy, his everything.
Don’t you think people would see you as someone who couldn’t practise what she is preaching, especially as your own marriage crashed?
But they also say it takes two to tango. You can force a camel to the stream but you can’t force it to drink water. If you have two parties that are willing to make something work, it would work but if you have just one willing party, there is nothing that you can do. Even God can’t come and knock you on the side of your head for it to work. It takes two to tango, honestly.
Does this mean that you made extra efforts to save the marriage?
I tried my best.
Why then did it crash? What happened?
I won’t answer this question please.
Do you hope to remarry?
Definitely. Everybody knows that about me that I’m definitely trying to remarry. I’m hopelessly romantic, I believe in the institution of marriage. I grew up in a family and my family was very close. I grew up with family morals. I want that for my kids.
I believe my kids should grow up in a home, not a house. Definitely, I do plan on getting married again, one day, very soon, yes, hopefully. If I find the right guy, I would definitely be doing that.
What lessons have you learnt from that botched relationship?
Now, I’m going to be a little bit more careful. I would watch carefully and instead of just following my heart, I would do so with my brain. When you are younger, you are likely to make mistake, but I have realized that life doesn’t work like that.
Now, I would look at the basics. What do you want? Five, 10 years from now, where do you see yourself ? I would ask all those questions. Anybody that tries to talk to me today, maybe, telling me ‘I love you’ and all that, I will ask the person some questions. If you don’t love me, don’t say that to me. If you are able to answer those posers and your answers tally with mine, then we can go ahead; if not we call it quits.
Having learnt your lessons, what are now the qualities of your ideal man?
I think a person that has very strong family orientation. You have to be a strict family person with the strong spirit of wanting your marriage to work. That is what I’m looking for, someone whose visions are same as mine, so much that when I’m 80 years old, we are still holding hands and our kids are happy and our grand kids are happy.
What is the most scandalous story about you?
They have written so many scandalous stories about me. None is true. I’m a very level-headed person. I see myself as being intelligent enough not to do stupid things. There have been a lot of scandalous stories about me. I must say those stories weren’t fair on me.
Were there some stories that made you shed tears?
Oh yes. The most popular one was that I cheated on my husband. But did you do it? I didn’t do it honestly. I read it and for me it was a little bit painful because I know the kind of person I am. I’m hopelessly romantic. If I decide to marry somebody, I’m definitely not going to cheat on him regardless of anything. I’m not materialistic. It’s not as if I’m looking for one moneybag or so.
What do you have for mothers-in-law who poke their noses into their children’s marriages?
To mothers-in-law, I always say try and be your daughters-in-law best friend. It is the wisest thing to do. I have a son and when he decides to get married, I would try as much as possible to be his wife’s or girlfriend’s friend.
I will try to be as lenient as possible. It is not easy letting go of your son because I know that feeling. But you just have to know that this is what it is.
What was your childhood like?
My childhood was beautiful. I grew up partly here and in America. I grew up around my family. There is nothing better than the family
‘You Are A Disgrace’ – Actress Adesua Etomi Knocks Lauretta Onochie Over Her Tweet
The Personal assistant to the President on social media had taken to Twitter on Monday to encouraged people to wear face masks to protect themselves against COVID-19.
Onochie also accompanied the tweet with a photo of some shirtless little children wearing face masks made of cardboards.
“WEARING A MASK IS NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT.
ITS NOT PUNISHMENT BY GOVERNMENT
These have made efforts with masking where those of us who are more vulnerable & susceptible to COVID-19 are still swearing that it’s a scam.
God bless their efforts”, she tweeted.
Reacting to this, Adesua expressed her displeasure over the photo and she tackled the presidential aide.
The actress wrote;
“You are a disgrace. Both home & abroad. You should be ashamed that these children have to do this with cardboards. Instead of talking about how to tackle poverty so they can be protected adequately against the virus, you’re spewing this nonsense.
“This picture made me so angry and brought tears to my eyes. They are so small , so vulnerable and so unprotected. Arghhhhhh. THIS COUNTRY”
See the tweets below:
Singer 9ice Shares New Family Video; Hints At Reconciliation With His Wife
If a new post by singer, 9ice is anything to go by, it simply means his efforts to save his third marriage is working.
The singer, who was recently embroiled in a cheating scandal, took to his Instagram stories to share a video showing the moment he and his daughter were seen having fun.
The video was also accompanied by a caption which reads; “thank you” indicating that he is grateful.
Fans are still unsure if the couple are back on, or it is just a facade.
However, from all indications, it seems the singer’s wife, Sunkanmi may have decided to give him another chance to save their marriage.
Information Nigeria recalls that days ago a video showing the singer being affectation with a lady surfaced on social media.
The singer left his fans in shock when he shared a video in which he publicly apologized to his wife for being unfaithful and he also asked his fans to beg his wife for him.
Watch the video below:
‘Being Divorced Is Nothing To Shame Anyone For’ – Toke Makinwa Blasts Reno Omokri
The former presidential aide had shared a tweet where he urged the media to project ‘natural beauties’ like the late Nigerian first lady, Mayram Babangida as role models for youths, instead of bombarding them with photos of ‘bleached and divorced women with surgical enhanced bodies.’
Irked by the tweet, Makinwa, who is a divorcee, rebuked Omokri and she labeled him as an ‘embarrassment.’
In her words;
“Wow, at your age? Your wife and kids must be cringing for you, such an embarrassment. “Divorced” is nothing to shame anyone for, life happens. People like you are the reasons why a lot of people stay in unhealthy situations and lose their dignity and In some cases their lives.
“You can celebrate a version of beauty without putting another down, you don’t have to meddle in women’s business too. If you have a daughter I hope she gets the courage to never deal with a man as uncouth as you, stop with the misogyny.
“I don’t care about shots intended my way, what I do care about is the group of women you singlehandedly insulted with your “Divorcee” comment, to divorce is not a crime, every divorced person has survived something and sometimes getting a divorce is the only option they have
“Enough with the divorce shaming of Anyone, I don’t see a divorced man being shamed for living his life after his failed marriage, people like that clown are probably in unhealthy marriages too. God forbid I marry a man who tweets that kind of garbage, sighhh.
“Everyone has a divorced person that they know, it can happen to anyone, that we divorced and alive should be encouraged, people are dying each day living in unhealthy situations and while I’m not advocating for divorce, if leaving is what you need to do, do it in peace.
“You cannot survive a bad marriage, survive a mental breakdown and then now have to deal with judgement from people who have not walked a mile in your shoes, it should not be encouraged. Someone’s journey does not have to be your cup of tea, that’s ok but you must respect it.
“Dragging my divorced slay queen naked ass back to my holiday and waking up to the most beautiful view. In my bed and outside my room. Love and light xx” Toke tweeted
See her tweets below:
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