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Kate Henshaw Talks About Her Failed Marriage and Why Men Cheat On Their WIves

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Popular Nollywood actress Kate Henshaw in this interview talks about her failed marriage, about men roaming around, about being an Onga brand ambassador among others.
Read the full interview below:

”Onga it’s a brand that I have grown to love and like I said in some of my previous interviews, I didn’t know anything about the brand until I took up this appointment. Now it’s a brand I love and have convinced a lot of people to try.

I was just picked. I didn’t compete with any one; the MD just called me and asked me if I could take up the appointment.
My husband just talked about me; he told them his wife could help boost the brand and they decided to give it a shot.
I don’t know if he is complaining since it was him who added to my duties. If he is; it’s a pity, because I have come to love it more than anything else.
I have a feeling that he does… this feeling of you are not always around… and when you are, it’s either you are attending one event or another. I feel it; I sense it. I know it’s tough, but hey, looks like I can’t help it.

If he wants to be taken; he is a free person. My dear, marriage is not a bondage o. If he decides to roam around, well… in any case, you men always roam.
The society always blames the woman, but I believe that every woman should be independent; but let me tell you something, if you want a person to stay when the person does not want to stay, there is nothing you can do about it. You can only do your best and leave the rest to God. I believe every woman should be working or doing something instead of just sitting at home. God forbid, if anything happens and you don’t have anything to fall back on, too bad, you will be lost. I have come to a stage now that all I do is to make myself happy and do what I think is right. People will always talk, no matter how good you are.

What about Omotola (actress Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde)? Her husband is a Nigerian and she is travelling all over the place. She runs an NGO and a music career that puts her on the move… there are so many other people and it doesn’t matter the race; if a man is a good man and he is confident in himself, he will let you be what you want to be. Because that is what completes both of you; that is what makes both of you happy; bringing whatever you have been able to make to the family.
What about J-Lo (Jennifer Lopez) and Mac Anthony, they have split up. After six years of marriage. I don’t know for whatever reason but you and I know that she is busy and he is busy and I know that she is busier than he is. May be there is an effect there; may be some kind of threat or insecurity. But that’s the fact, when they part ways they are not enemies, each person wishes the other person well and life moves on.

That’s how marriage and divorce should be. There shouldn’t be any rancour especially when children are involved. I mean, my mum left my dad and hey, it hasn’t affected me… sorry, it did at a point but I have moved on.
About my daughter, I feel really guilty most of the time for not being around her, but good enough, she seems to understand. And the little time that we spend together, I try to make quality out of it. We talk at length; we go to the cinema and do all sorts together. She does understand that this is the nature of my job. There was a time she came home and asked, mummy are you on twitters? And I said yes, then she said one of her friends in school said she follows me on twitters. And I said oh, that’s embarrassing but you know she is so grown up now and her speech so profound.

My daughter is lonely…, she is sometimes. Because even her dad is busy; he works and travels and that is what you get when both parents are the busy type. But I try during the holiday season to create a family time by trying to let go what ever trip that is not so compulsory.
My low moment is such that since I have turned forty, I should try and spend more moments with my daughter really. I think about this a lot and it bothers me. And I intend to effect that change. As she is growing up before you know it, she’s gone to boarding house and I won’t be seeing her as much. Before you know it, she is already 20 and she is going to her husband’s house and I hardly know her… I intend to spend more time with her”.

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45 Comments

45 Comments

  1. N.shedrack.

    December 6, 2011 at 8:27 am

    u r d couse of ur fail marriage n dey wil cntinue 2 cheat on u if u dnt learn 4rm ur mistaks. lok 4a better prson,der is hop 4d future.

  2. Adeboye Victor

    December 6, 2011 at 10:31 am

    Pls find a way of reconcerning with your husband even when i know it’s some how dificult as a human, seek the face of God not for enything but your beutiful daughter future. Deep in my heart i know you have the grace, may thy Lord grant us wisdom and understanding of our pupose in life shallom.

  3. Gbenga

    December 6, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    I don’t just get all the stories Kate just dropped. It makes no sense to me. You both need help via counselling because you don’t trust each other and not true. If your hubby can recommend you for a job which you now love it means either you now get so much into the job and leave the poor guy and your family lonely. You should know better because I respect you so much. You sure should be proud of him for even making an attempt in recommending you. It shows he knows what you can do and shares your dreams. I am so disappointed because I don’t expect such stories from someone like you Kate. You need to be grateful to God by keeping the home no matter what. It also shows from the story you don’t have time for your daughter. Haba! Even if your husband wanted a divorce I believe you should be humble and seek for councelling for the family as a mother and wife. Peace in the home worths more than all the monies. Kate, abeg, mbok, make una settle this matter and get back as one. Bros!!! Make u sef chillax abeg. You guys are just too good to start this mess.

  4. Ivy

    December 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    I could not help noticing that Kate mentioned that her mother also experienced a divoice. And now she has also suffered a divoice. For the sake of her daughter I suggest she looks inwards and prayerfull deal with her foundation so she can break the evil pattern. Let us stop living in denial. These things are real.

  5. natalie

    December 6, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    when a woman gets married,her place is by her husband. Your husband becomes your head and your covering,the Bible says so. No matter wat,family comes first.

  6. Unyime

    December 6, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    Pls katherine u guys should settle pls. I love u. Seek God’s face. Pls mbok.

  7. Mercy

    December 6, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    Kate you left out the bit about your infidelity with governors and other celebrities.Dont run your husband down, where is your conscience.

  8. Optimistic

    December 7, 2011 at 12:54 am

    Gosh! You were †ђξ only famous one I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ naija that I could refer people τ̅☺ and say ‘there, it can work out with a white man’. But №ω…I’M̲̅ really confused.

  9. esty

    December 7, 2011 at 7:47 am

    Kate u r d author of ur owm failed marriage, how can u b comparing urself with people. It shows uve got no sense of reasoning, following d wrongs pple did leaving d right ones dey did.in d issue of bieng busy I tell u, u r not d only busy or busiest person on earth. A woman must try 2 make out time 4 her family no matter wat hppns dy r d only tin uve got not d money cos if anytin shld hppn dy r d 1 2 b dere 4u even in old age, burry n morn u. As 4 d money it doesn’t go 2 d grave wit u. My only advice is dat u make sure u don’t regret ur actions in feature n 4 d image of ur family so dat pple don’t c it as “it runs in dia blood”.

  10. esty

    December 7, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Kate u r d author of ur owm failed marriage, how can u b comparing urself with people. It shows uve got no sense of reasoning, following d wrongs pple did leaving d right ones dey did.in d issue of bieng busy I tell u, u r not d only busy or busiest person on earth. A woman must try 2 make out time 4 her family no matter wat hppns dy r d only tin uve got not d money cos if anytin shld hppn dy r d 1 2 b dere 4u even in old age, burry n morn u. As 4 d money it doesn’t go 2 d grave wit u. My only advice is dat u make sure u don’t regret ur actions in feature n 4 d image of ur family so dat pple don’t c it as “it runs in dia blood”. As 4 d cheating issue u r d 1 who gave d devil a packing space 2 come in. Every1 needs company, needs 2 b cared 4 n wants 2 b loved,so wen he has waited patiently 4 u wat do u expect. Tink 2wice kate n stop filling 4 an unnecessary divorce

  11. william

    December 7, 2011 at 8:48 am

    highly disappointed,i just heard u say u were ‘busy’,didnt u knw it b4,its beta nt 2 get married to getting married and b busy! U spend little time with your family and even u’ve got a daughter,u shld b at home teaching her various things in the kitchen! i undrstnd its ur talent 2 be an actress,bt u cn’t do dis @ d expense of ur family,’n u’r even spending little time wit ur family,then u travel,go for trips..that is what pple call ‘choosing carreer over family’.. ..busy,busy ‘n busy! Marriage needs total devotion,u were given the best mum award twice,remember?!…

  12. Gloria

    December 7, 2011 at 10:20 am

    Kate pls for d sake of ur only child i suggest u reconcile with ur husband so dat ur child can enjoy parental love.

  13. Aims

    December 7, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Kate,did i jst hear u say,every woman ought 2 b independent,if dats true,den y go into marriage d first place,hey u’v got to get it rite so u dnt regret it on death bed in futre,selah

  14. Iteshi

    December 7, 2011 at 11:30 am

    A man who sets his heart to do wickedly, advice is a joke to him. If people talk from now till the next generation, she has already made up her mind to try another. But Kate, the devil u know is better dan the angel u don’t know. Maybe some men are out there confusing u, all dat glitters is not gold. A bird in hand worth two in the bush.

  15. godson nweke

    December 7, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    Kate better go back to your marriage. That is the best option for you. Don’t allow other people’s marriage failures to guide you. God bless you

  16. Damilare

    December 7, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Being a nigerian, u need to be under a man to command more respect among your peers & colleague. It’s not late, correction can still be made. Be submissive

  17. N.SHEDRACK

    December 7, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    wait,u v a child? new suggestion,go n beg,bt if he is engage,stil beg n c up 2 God, also follow ur fans advise.lv u.08027728427.

  18. uzoma favour

    December 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    wel shal u ar d cause of ur broken marriage. U cn’t abandon ur family jst 2 mk it up wit d wrld or our proffesion wat eva, @ least ur kid nid a parental kia & guildance. Nevadles u ‘v 2 reconciled wit ur hubby jst 2 build a hapy family. Is al jst abt trust & undastndin.

  19. wizzy

    December 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Hey kate, I see u will regret this action of yours in a matter of tym, u bullshit culture and make entertainment ladies people not to get married to, u av manage ur work and family for a long tym and has become an icon to young ones who wants to build a career in this profession now you talk lyk shit lyk others, go beg on ur kneels to ur husband coz he has really tried all dis years and wen you need to be retiring to d comfort of your families is wen u spit shit.

  20. Baby

    December 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    kate,im really disappointed in you cuz all that u said here is bull,there is nothing good about it.divorce is wrong even bible dont accept it.what is wrong with u pple and money,money,money,money,whats that all about.u are 40 and u are busy talking shits here.family first before anything thats why u re married,why didnt u remain single and forget abt marrying the man in the first place.u pple have a long way to go and what i really understand is that u hv no christ in you bcuz if u do,u wont be talking all these nonsense here.trust me u re making a big mistake by leaving ur man,all that glitters is not gold.may god hv mercy on u.

  21. Baby

    December 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    I dont know why u pple are so proud of sin,so eager to marry today,divorce tomorow.u comparing urself with others means u hv no reasoning at all.ur mum left ur father,therefore we should clap for her for a job well done,now u re following her footstep.i thought u re reasonable,now i know u guys are just the same.u should be ashamed of urself cuz u re not fit to call a wife,let alone mother.independent woman i hear you.i pray God forgives u cuz if not devil will surely laugh at u at the end of the day that i can assure you.

  22. Caro

    December 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Kate do u realy know wat it means 2 be a wife/mohter,if yes, go and appologise 2 ur hussy and bring ur home 2geda. If u divorce him and bring up ur daughter in a broken home, she’ll blame u solely 4 whateva dat happens 2 her in futur.

  23. cj

    December 8, 2011 at 7:55 am

    kate u realy hav 2 hav d interert of ur daughter at heart,i mean parental care she requires n get less busy n give ur family d best a moda can offer.it wil realy affect in future.money is nt everything

  24. Onyi

    December 8, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    U guyz hv all spoken ur mind. Marriage ought nt to be do or die affair. I cnt pass d blame on kate cux shez nt alwayz @ home. She neva said she dosnt come home but nt alwayz @ home. Who knowz, d man might hv bn sleepin wit oda ladies. Plz happiness is key in marriage. U guyz ar sort of forcin her to go nd beg d hus. Wat abt d hus comin to beg. Notin is wrong wit dat i guess. Kate fellow ur instincts nd do d right tin nd d needful.

  25. chy arinze

    December 8, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    onyi i pity u.marriage is nt wat u sort by divorcin wn d goin gets tough,d bible said it is 4 beta nd worst til death do part.as a spinster,it is beta 2 stay alone if u ned ‘happines nd independent’ dan 2 marry toda, nd divorce 2morow.my dear,it is nt civilisatn bt stupidity.

  26. Obiora

    December 9, 2011 at 1:08 am

    There is a great difference between getting married and staying married, my people leave that Catherine or Latrine alone because it runs in her family she just passed the evil baton to her daughter who will in turn do same, does Kate know what a father means? Capital NO so how do you think she will have a rethink when she is a programmed and practising single mother and a carrier of “SINGLEMUMHOOD SYNDROME” mtchwwww.

  27. Idowu Babatunde

    December 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    My dear sista,u are one of the aunty in the nollywood that i respect so much,but now u don fall my hand,pls raise it up by doing the rit thing,marriage must work

  28. bestbaby

    December 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Hey Kate, i will like u find a way to reconcile wit ur husband becos despite wot might has happened between d both of u, u have made a vow, however u should not allow urself 2 be compared 2 others becos ur are a different.

  29. Joseph dennis nenyok

    December 9, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Kate, dere’s jus no sense in dis story of urs.4rm evrytin u said,u re d cause of ur colapsed marriage.y wil u jus invest ur tym in money makin nd 4getin abt ur home xpecialy ur doughter!how du u define marriage in ur place?i fink deres mor 2 it dan dis fabrication u gave.re u emulatin ur mun 4 divorcin ur dad?is dis dsame life u wish 4 ur duoghter?abeg u don matured pass dis rubish wey u dey du oo!

  30. Jac

    December 10, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    Kate, U only help to be shameless. Where is the virtue of a woman which U have displayed? Where is the dignity U possess by telling the world that U are proud to break up with your guy? Remember a fool at 40 is a fool forever. Do you think money gives all the joy and happiness there is? I know U dont go to Church, even if U do not the right one. Only fools jump into a place where angles fail to touch. U are a failure to womanhood. I can never marry an actress, instead let me remain single, than to marry a disappointment.

  31. ify

    December 11, 2011 at 1:58 am

    nice idea. you better find quality time to spend with your daughter before she is grown to a full woman and you tend not to know her too well.i believe in your logic” if a man is good and believes in himself and his wife” things would walk out well for them.but, a situation where he doubts his wife things falls apart and before you know it a divorce steps in.

  32. Temmy

    December 11, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    Kate,i am not surprise because that is how u celebrities are always doing and u as an actoress teaching many matrimonial issues on home to maintain good homes dat means u are not a good role model.u better reconscience with ur husband now.4 ur daughter not to behave like dat.

  33. Okpara_g1

    December 12, 2011 at 5:07 am

    Pls. U guys shud let her conscience judge hr by hrself insted of doing it 4 hr. Most women ar good pretender, wot hr lips is sayin may not b wot realy happen btw dem. Dont hep d man to feel too important if not he wl av mor guts against kate. Bside, in this kind of issue u dont blame 1 party. Wot d couple needs is our prayer and good advise 4 both and not indirectly throwing abusive words at them or 1 party in name of advise. Kate, I like 2 see reunit with ur hubby back vry soon.

  34. Abluv

    December 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Miss Kate,

    Just because your marriage failed doesn’t give you the right to become an expert on failed marriages and the reasons why men cheat!

    Please set down!!!!

  35. mekey

    December 13, 2011 at 11:09 am

    u shudn’t hv mentioned ur mum’s case here cos it might also affect ur daughter.Pls luk for a means to settle with ur husby cos d bible itself dosen’t recognize divorce and who go dey touch ur website wen u’re aroused, think of dis pls every woman needs a man & vise versa money no be everytin oh,peace of mind and happiness is d ultimate sis

  36. Chris Nelson

    December 15, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    Too bad, I cant believe the Hollywood spirit is also catching up with you Kate. You are giving everyone the impression that you love your job more than your family.

  37. ray louis

    December 16, 2011 at 7:42 am

    Sweetheart, its not in any way ƱЯ fault, if it somehow hurts, it won’t work. I believe in u and what u can do. Forget him and move on. I’m telling you from experience. If it really hurts, move on and lead a better life

  38. taiwo

    December 17, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    hi kate, m dissapointed about what u said but i believe you only said it because you want to feel good outside cos of the pain u r going thru. honestly, u need deliverance, i recommend mfm. stop the evil family patern so it does nt flow to ur daughter. i understand you have to work but try to creat tym 4 ur family especially ur daughter. i dont know wt has really hapened btw u 2, n i dont blame u but the sucess of a marrige is in the hand of a woman.

  39. @Ejikachidindu on Twitter

    December 26, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Sturvs!!! I think some ppl shouldn’t be allowed to comment on certain stories or their comments removed!
    Some ppl are really irrational at talking and reasoning, as if they themselves manage themselves well!
    If u look into their lives, u’d see grave and sheer mistakes made out of their foolishness and foolhardy thinking!
    Don’t judge anyone when you don’t ve anything good to show for yourself! Most of them are dead promiscous, irrational, error-personified, yet they open their God-forsaken mouth and virtuperate others!
    Damn you!!!

  40. falala

    March 12, 2012 at 4:00 am

    How can you eva think that whatever worked for omo sexy and jelo would work out for you…@ your age!!!?? Ok if you really want to compare ursef with others, did u not see other talented nollywood stars who left their jobs for their families. It’s family frist. Y would you just leave like that? Anyway, I guess divorce runs in the family

  41. Winner Ogbeni

    March 13, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Kate u are a big fool 2 compare ur marriage wit odas. U beta go 4 deliverance & deal wit ur foundation. Pls dont fail to go & reconcil wit ur onibo husband becos marriage is 4 beta 4 worst

  42. alexandra

    June 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    You are all funny, haven’t you ever heard that people grow apart, her husband is not complaining and she is ok with it. When ever a woman steps out of a marraige and she is not complaining and breaking head about it. People say is another man, it is not so. Let me ask a question when someone is divorced and dies does the person go to hell.

    God said that one can divorce on the grounds of adultery and hard heartedness.

    My dear people, marraige is still a choice not a must after all saint paul said it is still a choice.

  43. Blessing

    March 26, 2013 at 6:56 am

    Kate, with all u said, its obvious that u nailed ur marriage urself. Firstly, u compared ur marriage to that of other celebrities. Which was wrong of u.
    Secondly, u devoted more time 2 ur career than 2 ur marriage. U forgot that the home & family of every woman should be her first love.
    Thirdly u allowed arrongance & pride to overtake u. U felt u are sucessful, then u shouldnt be dependant or be under any man. That was wrong of u also.
    And finally, i can deduce from ur story dat ur case has a spiritual linkage. U said dat ur mother had a failed marriage, so having a failed marriage means nothing u. What about ur daughter would u wish her d same?
    I will advice u keep ur pride, ur career & ur achievements aside, ask 4 ur husband‘s forgiveness & make ur marriage a sucess, atleast 4 d sake of ur daughter.
    I WISH U LUCK.

  44. Blessing

    March 26, 2013 at 7:06 am

    AND NEVER FORGET SEEK 4 SPIRITUAL HELP – SURELY U NEED PRAYERS

  45. Peace Emmanuel

    July 1, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Like moda like duta your moda lift your dad and you left your hubby what’s the hope of your own duta? To leave her own husband too you better think right now.

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#EndSARS: ‘The Only People I Pity Are The Poor’ – Actress Caroline Hutchings

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She also said that a lot of celebrities ranting on social media have passports that will enable them elope easily if things get out of hand. In her words:

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So much I want to say .. but here I am weeping in silence .. I wish I could turn it around.”

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Davido

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